


Madness of Mischief

by hrelics9



Category: Harry Potter - Fandom
Genre: Abuse, Angst, Dominate!Remus, F/M, Fluff, Gen, M/M, Marauders' Era, Other, Prank Wars, Really long-siriusly guys, first war era, slightly crack?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-01-27
Updated: 2013-10-07
Packaged: 2017-11-27 05:13:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 39,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/658375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hrelics9/pseuds/hrelics9
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>And now, Sirius Black knew what madness really was.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. All You Need is Love

**Author's Note:**

> So, this is going to be long. And sometimes going off into PWP? but don't worry, I'll get back on track. :)

 

 _"Nothing you can make that can't be made_  
No one you can save that can't be saved  
Nothing you can do but you can learn how to be you in time  
It's easy  
All you need is love" 

_-The Beatles_

_  
_Prologue

_Hogwarts, 1976_

“Really? I don’t believe you.”

“You don’t believe what I am saying, or that in the act of what I said I have not or will not do in such a state the causes the result of you to say those horrible words just seconds ago, furthermore I say to you, how could you? Moony, I swear.”

Remus, numb to Sirius's antics and mindless jibber-jabber by now rose an eyebrow at him, “You swear?”

“Yep.”

“Solemnly swear?”

Sirius grinned mischievously, stretching out smugly on the couch, the fire glittering in his grey-blue eyes. James stared at them both, a look of disbelief on his face. 

“I swear, Remus _really_.”

Remus frowned, “…that,” drawling out the "a" and waved his hand for Sirius to finish the statement.

“That…” the ever charming Black smirk formed on Sirius’s ridiculously pretty face and a slow chuckle followed, hinting at his forfeit, “that I am up to absolutely no good.”

“That’s it!” James jumped up in his seat, knocking Peter in the back of the head.

“What?” Sirius asked and threw a half eaten chocolate piece at James’s forehead.

“That’s what should be the code, for the map.”

Remus glanced around nervously, glaring at two second year girls as they walked by quickly, giving Sirius a few fevered looks and childish giggles.

“What?” Peter asked. The four teens closing in together, huddling.

“I solemnly swear I am up to no good.”

Remus chuckled at Sirius’s slightly menacing laugh, their grins giving their approval. Peter frowned slightly, but more of a confused one until he shrugged, nodding.

“Excellent!” James shouted happily, pulling away from their huddle and spinning about to run up to their dormitory to cast the finishing touches on the map, tripping over his robes along the way.

“Peter, do James a favor and don’t hang around him so much, you’re rubbing off on him.” Sirius said, his face straight, watching his best mate stumble yet again. This time knocking into a few of Evan’s friends (thankful, Evans herself was not with them).

Remus snorted into his book with a smile, his sharpening canine teeth not entering his mind for a second.

**___  
**

****

_Grodic Hollow, November 1 st, 1981_

               

It burned, from his finger nails, blazing in his veins, up his arms, curving around his shoulders, screamed up his neck, pulsed at his temple and shot back down, straight to his heart. All he could hear was the thudding of his own heart beat, never mind the screaming. Never mind the yelling Aurors, never mind his psychotic laughing. All that mattered was that he could hear his heart beat. Feel his blood running through his body, hot…it burned.

Burned like betrayal.

Burned like the binds restraining him. Why the hell was he still laughing? Someone asked him that…why?

Because, Irony’s a bitch and he got bitch slapped, hard.

It was all for nothing…

It was everything and nothing…and now it came down to just this.

Why was he laughing?

Because he knew there would be no trial, after all, he was a member of the Black family. Obviously that was proof enough. Course if that didn’t persuade them, they could always force him to admit he’s been living with a werewolf since first year at Hogwarts.

Moony, his dear Moony.

No doubt he wouldn’t be hearing from him, and that burned more than betrayal, it was also, apparently, ten times funnier. It would almost be better if Moony were dead.

But that was what was so funny, Moony, _dead_ , what a laugh.

But it was better to pretend. Pretend that everyone was just _dead_.

Laughter was easier than the burning pain in his veins; it was easier than the bursting of his heart.

This way, he would never know if…if Remus really thought he could do such a thing, or…at least, he could lie to himself.

This way, he could go on pretending that, somewhere down the line, Remus still cared.

And now, Sirius Black knew what madness really was.

 


	2. Come With Me-Year 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Remmy, mate, I love you. You know that? Truly and wholly, forever and ever.”  
> “So long as I bring you chocolate muffins on Mondays?”  
> “So long as you bring me chocolate muffins on Mondays.”  
> Year 5

_"Come with me, My love_

_To the sea, the sea of love_

_I wanna tell you how much I love you_

_Do you remember when we met?"_

_-Cat Power  
_

_Grimmauld Place, August 31 st 1975_

It was hot, hotter than normal for the end of summer. Sirius shifted, pulling his comforter over his head, trying to block out the sun. The last of the summer sun was turning the inside of his eyelids red. He just wanted to sleep a bit more, just so the day would seem shorter. But his comforter wasn’t helping him really; it was just making him hotter. Sirius shifted again, turning his back to the window. No matter how hard he tried, his mind wouldn’t settle. When the sun woke so did his brain, just another reason for him to hate summers. Knowing that sleep wasn’t going to come back to him, Sirius sighed and finally opened his eyes.

It was all glow-y under his comforter.

It was never glow-y under his comforter at school. But that was probably because Remus switched beds with him so he could be in the darkest corner of their dorm room. He wished Remus was here to switch beds with him now. But he wasn’t and Sirius sighed. One more day, just one more short horrible day till he would be speeding away, back to where he belonged; at Hogwarts, with James and Peter and Remus, his fellow marauders.

“Sirius!” a bang echoed around his room and inside his head. Was it possible to have a sleep head ache? Maybe if he pretended he was still asleep Regulus would go away.

“Sirius!” another bang, “Get up!”

Nope.

“Sirius!”

He sighed once again and sat up, comforter falling around his lap. His legs felt like led and all he wanted to do was go back to sleep, but seeing as the summer sun and his little brother weren’t going to leave him alone, it was unlikely. The only other option was to be grumpy. With great effort, Sirius rose from his warm bed and glared at the bikini clad blonde on a Harley that was plastered on his wall. The door handle was far too cold and a shiver fought its way down his body.

“What?” it was too bright in the hallway and he squinted.

His little brother stared at him, frowning, hair slicked back perfectly, thick and black, just like Sirius’s.

“Mum wants to speak to you.”

He found it hard to believe that Regulus called their Mother, Mum, awful women that she was.  One day, he was going to get her back, for every snobby look, every drawn out screaming match, every slap on the face, every cursed spell she cast on him.

“Fine” he all but snarled and slammed the door in Regulus’s face.

He breathed in deep, forcing his irritation down and grabbed a shirt. Just one more day, he could do it. As he dragged himself down the stairs his Mother’s shrill voice greeted him in the kitchen and his Father’s dejected glare did as well. And for once, neither was directed at him. Instead their hatred covered looks were directed at each other.

“Kreacher!” His Mother shrieked, still glaring madly at her husband, “hurry up!” the ugly house elf came wobbling in under a massive tray of breakfast food. She glanced at her eldest son and snorted in disgust, “take that filthy shirt off, I won’t tell you again, Sirius,”

Sirius rolled his eyes and turned back around, ignoring his mother’s shout at him (“Don’t roll your eyes at me, boy!”) before her fierce attack went back to his father. He also wasn’t going to be changing, at least not into anything his mother would approve of. He purposely had Remus go ‘muggle’ shopping with him, getting practically everything that Remus touched or even looked at. Sirius had developed a new hobby over the last two years. He was determined to ruin his mother’s ambition to pass along the Black tradition to her sons.

As a result of rebelling, Sirius spent three days plastering posters on top of posters, covering every dull, off white wall, and none of the posters moved. Instead it was layer upon layer of muggle cars, muggle movie posters, muggle band posters (which seemed to be the most posters in the room), and a few bold, swim-suit clad muggle women in positions that even  Sirius blushed a bit if he stared a bit too long. The first day his Mother had walked into his room after the transformation had earned him a week of torture chores, and then when he refused to remove the permanent spells on them or tell her how to get the posters off, it was a day down in the cellar with his Father.

He supposed that none of that had been the highlight though. It wasn’t until he came home from daily hang outs with James and Remus, arms full of bags (all muggle store brands) and dumped away all of his clothes except for his school uniform and his few winter robes, did his Mother truly see her sons own ambition to slowly kill her. It had been quite humorous to see her get red in the face at seeing her son covered from head to toe in muggle clothing, most of which was black, far too tight, and had ridiculous band name (“The Beatles? THE BEATLES?!”) logos on the front. Of course he got three weeks of nothing fun, no Quidditch, no friends, no magic, no music, in fact, nothing except homework, after of course another cellar job  from ‘Daddy’. She had also tried to burn all of his clothes, but that never worked, seeing as he bewitched his closet to only open for him and those that knew the ‘password’ to open it.

It was the only satisfaction he had anymore in his horrible house hold, his muggle clad room. So he retreated back to it, determined to spend the last summer holiday in his room, where he could pretend to be happy and forget that he was not at Hogwarts. The moment his door closed behind him, he took in a shuttering breath. No matter how much he tried to convince himself that he wasn’t afraid or he didn’t care what his parents did to him, subconsciously he did. The fear always lurked in the back of his mind, eating away at his thoughts every summer.

Sirius sighed and looked around his room, it was tidier than normal. Most of his packing was finished, just a few books strewn across his room that needed to be put in his trunk. It would only take him a few seconds to shove them into his already over flowing trunk. So he slouched over to his mirror that he had placed on the floor at the beginning of holiday. He sat down on the floor and stared at his reflection. His hair was longer then it had ever been, reaching just to his shoulders. He was tanned from quidditch with James in the sun and dark circles were starting to form under his eyes. They always did during summer; he didn’t sleep much at home anymore.

Taking in a breath, Sirius shut his eyes, his brow twitched only slightly and then he felt himself shift. It didn’t hurt anymore, nor did it take near as much concentration as it did in the beginning. He opened his eyes. They were the only thing that remained the same as when he was normal. His eyes stayed their silverfish blue color, large and a brilliant hue. Otherwise, staring back at him now was a large black dog. Its coat soft and shinny and inky black, darker then the night. Its ears large and perked up, twitching at every sound. Sirius let out a very quiet whine and touched the mirror with his black nose. He still felt his mental focus drain when he transformed, but it was getting much better. Now he could control and recognize emotions much faster. He tilted his head and then pawed at the mirror with his large black paws.

Sudden screaming from downstairs startled a woof out of Sirius. He shifted back as quickly as he could and sat still. There was no indication that his bark was heard though.  He frowned and started moving around his room loudly, trying to drown out his parent’s fighting.  It was no secret, what was happening in the wizardry world and it was also no secret that the Black family wasn’t exactly on the better side (matter of a opinion, on who you spoke too). He was tired of hearing about the young dark wizard that was gaining popularity among those like his own family. Lately with his Father it was all about Voldemort and his quickly growing group, the Death Eaters. His Mother just wanted to lie low and wallow in the Black family’s dark secrets and riches.

Sirius snorted just thinking about it. It was all so ridiculous. He knew though, eventually, his father would get his way and the dark mark would be branded on all of their arms, whether they wanted it or not.

____

_King’s Cross Train Station, September 1 st 1975_

It was as if summer had never happened the next day. Dark storm clouds were looming above London and Sirius stood apprehensively on the curb as Regulus and his parents fidgeted with the luggage. King’s Cross was as busy as ever and Sirius had already spotted quite a few of his school mates. He bounced on his heels; silently hurrying his family along before the rain came pouring down. The station was rushing about with muggle and wizards alike, and Sirius was just itching to get onto the platform and away from his parents, who were _not_ arguing quietly. The moment he passed through the barrier a wave of relief washed over him. He immediately felt more relaxed and calm. Here, where it was all familiar faces and the beginning of his trip to his escape. Sirius didn’t wait for his parents to come through with Regulus, he dove strait into the crowd and smoke. He fought his way through Gryffindors, Hufflepuffs, Ravenclaws, and Slytherins to the end of the train, or as close as he could get before stepping on. The nose level dimmed on the train and Sirius couldn’t help the smile that cracked across his face. Freedom had finally come to him again.

He passed full compartments until slowly they become emptier. It didn’t take Sirius long to find his fellow marauders amongst the crowded Hogwarts train. The moment he passed the compartment that Lily Evans sat in, he knew James wouldn’t be far. Low and behold; James had chosen the compartment right behind Lily and her friends. He had already set up camp and was animatedly talking with Peter, who looked more nervous then he usually did.

“Oi,” Sirius poked his head in with a smirk, closing the door behind him, “where the hell is Moony?”

James smirked right back at him, throwing a crumbled piece of paper at him with a chuckle.

“You’ll never guess.” Peter mumbled, shifting over to make room for Sirius.

“He’s made Prefect!” James nearly shouted.

Sirius gave a shout of laughter, nearly dropping his luggage on his head as he put it up on the shelves.

“Prefect, you say Prongs?”

“I certainly did, my dear Padfoot.”

Sirius’s smirk grew, one almost identical to James and sat down across his best friend, propping his feet up next to James’s thighs on the seat, “And what did you do to allow us this marvelous opportunity?”

“Nothing! Isn’t it great?” James laughed, throwing his head back against the seat.

Peter stared at James and Sirius, a confused expression on his face, apparently missing what was so spectacular about Remus being a Prefect.

“What’s great?” a cleared throat from the doorway asked.

“Why, Moony, you! You and your shiny new Prefect badge.”

James and Sirius collapsed in giggles.

Remus sighed, “Ok, before we even start moving, let me make this perfectly clear, just because I am a prefect does not entitle you to be even more outlandish and….and…”

“Intelligent-witty-brave-”

“Handsome-cunning- party geniuses-”

“-irresponsible.” Remus finished, giving Sirius and James a look.

“What?” they both yelped.

“Us, irresponsible?”

“Why Moony, mate, how could you? We’ve done so much for Hogwarts.”

Remus sighed, though he couldn’t stop the smile forming on his face.

“And-and you’re, _accusing_ us of…of, _terrorizing_ our classmates,” Sirius gave a dramatic gasp, pretending to wipe away a tear, hand clutching his chest brokenly, “I can’t look at you, I-I just can’t.”

Rolling his eyes, Remus threw a pouch at Sirius, “make sure to get me chocolate when the trolley rolls by, I’ll be back later,” and turned back out of the compartment, closing the door behind him as the train gave a warning whistle.

“Tsk, first he insults me, now he demands I make him a sandwich? What do I look like, his woman?”

James chuckled.

“Um, you’re supposed to get him chocolate, Padfoot,” Peter spoke up, “and you do, look like his woman.”

James roared with laughter, slapping Peter’s back, only to yelp a second later as the compartment door slammed back open.

“and!” Remus’s head popped back in, glaring playfully at Sirius, “make room for me chubby,”

“Nugh!” Sirius stuttered at the now empty corridor. “Who’s he calling chubby.” Sirius play pouted and leaned back against the seat.

The train gave a last final whistle and shook for a moment before slowly pulling out of the station and out into the dark storm that had finally given way and was now pouring rain. A chill hung in the air as the train gained speed and it wasn’t until they were well into the country side did the compartments get comfortably warm and cozy. The rain hounded on the windows with a steady pitter pat and it was near impossible to see out the window. A lull was upon the three marauders and Sirius kept drifting off in his mind. He couldn’t get his mind off the fresh scar on Remus’s face that he only had a moment’s notice to take in before the werewolf had gone running to the Prefects meeting. It was a small scar, but Sirius had noticed it right away, on his left brow, his eyebrow hadn’t grown back over the scarred tissue. He suddenly wanted to focus on perfecting his animal form.

Next to him Peter had fallen into slumber and James had been staring at him for past twenty minutes.

“Oi,” he nudged Sirius’s leg with his own, “stop ignoring me.”

Sirius tsked and put his feet up on James’s lap, “sorry, drifting.” He mumbled.

James’s brown eyes stared hard at him, a slight hint of irritation in them, “have you, you know,” James glanced at passer by students before leaning in, resting his arms on Sirius’s shins, “perfected it yet?”

Sirius sighed impatiently, “Almost, I still can’t focus the right way, I get confused easily.”

James nodded in the silence, as if to admit he was having the same problem.

“I think,” he started slowly, almost in a whisper, “I think we should show him soon.”

Sirius nodded grimly, he knew James had been thinking about it since they left the station. Along with the fresh scar on his face, Remus looked paler, like he hadn’t fully healed from the last moon, which had been three weeks ago and the next one coming soon. The faster they completed their task to become animangai, the faster Remus wouldn’t have to be alone and that meant far less damage being dealt to him.

“By Christmas.” James suggested.

“The latest, by Christmas.” Sirius agreed.

They both fell into a silence for a long while. Remus didn’t join them until it was dark out and they were only about an hour out. He looked tired, but happy. He took his seat next to Sirius slowly, favoring his right side.

“So, Mister Prefect-”

“-oh, here we go.” Remus teased with a small smile on his lips.

“-you planning on moving out to be by your lonesome now?”

Remus chuckled and patted Sirius’s thigh, “Nope, you’re stuck with me.”

“Aw, damn.” Sirius smiled before softly punching Remus’s shoulder, “at least we’ve got a make out room now.”

“Yeah, do we have to pay you to use it?”

“Hmm,” Remus’s eyes lit up with an idea, “you know, I never considered a usage fee, thanks James.”

“Er, I mean, you should let us use it for free, we are your _best_ mates-,”

“-only mates.” Sirius corrected.

Remus snorted and pushed Sirius’s face over, “I have other friends you know.”

“Psh, who? Evans? You only talk to her to make James jealous.”

James gasped so loudly in mockery that it startled Peter awake and the three marauders fell into laughter as the train got closer to the school.

The rain seemed to be falling heavier as they pulled into the Hogwarts station and students rushed to their carriages, smirking at the first years that had to arrive by boat. Sirius and James spoke loudly the whole way about how the giant squid ate nearly half of those arriving. And by the time the four separated paths, many first years were wide eyed and stiff with fear from stepping into the boats. Remus hushed them in a disproving tone, but he couldn’t keep in a chuckle at a particularly frightened first year that had overheard James and Sirius. She had worked herself up so much that she jumped straight into the lake, mistaking a shadow for a boat.

The four of them jumped into a carriage as fast as possible to get away from the rain, though it didn’t really matter that much, they were already drenched. They looked as if they themselves had jumped into the lake.

“Great,” James wiped at his glasses with his wet sleeve, “I can’t see.”

Remus chuckled and whipped his wand out, murmuring a spell that cleared up James’s glasses in seconds, “every year James, every year it rains like this and you still never think to cast a water repellent spell on your glasses.”

“But, I like it when you do it for me.”

“Oi!” Sirius poked both of them, “I’m only allowed to shamelessly flirt with boys, back off _Jamesie_.”

James cringed, “don’t call me that!”

“Ook, sorry Jamesie-boy.”

James punched Sirius in the arm, not that it stopped the dark haired teen from laughing.

They traveled up the muddy trail to the school and rushed inside the castle when they stopped. Dumbledore had thought ahead for the soaking students, as they entered the great hall a slight rushing sound filled their ears and they were popped dry in seconds. The sorting seemed to take extra long due to the size in the class and the amount of confusion for them. James commented more than once that they seemed to be a dumb bunch. They hastily ate and the feast went by rather quickly, the hall calming as students became weary. Remus finally stood, nodding at Lily from across the table. They both had to take the first years to Gryffindor tower and give them a quick tour and rule guide before ushering them to bed. Sirius, James, and Peter followed soon after, wanting to get up to their dorm room without Remus there for a moment.

“Ok,” James said, placing his glasses on his bedside table, “real fast, let’s have a look. Before Remus gets back from showing off the school.”

Sirius nodded, his brow narrowed slightly and in seconds a large dog was sitting in front of James and Peter.

“Whoa,” Peter said, amazement and a bit of jealousy in his voice, “so fast, and you look so perfect. My tail is still not right.”

Sirius gave a bark and his long black tail whooshed back and forth. He stood, spun in a circle and then suddenly shifted back, grinning from ear to ear. “It was even easier than last time I shifted. I think I’m just about there lads.”

James chuckled and he too transformed within seconds. In his place, a young looking stag, with small antlers forming and big brown eyes that sparkled in the same mischievous way as James’s always did. Peter stood in awe. Sirius snickered and tugged gently at one of his antlers, “that’s some tiny antlers you’ve got _laddie._ ”

The stag huffed and stomped its front hoof, transforming back, James stuck out his tongue, “they’ll grow, and I’m not an adult yet, so my form isn’t. Besides, you’re one to talk Mr. Giant Paws.”

“Hey! They’re not that big,”

“Yeah they are puppy.” 

Sirius ignored James and turned to Peter, “Ok, let’s see Wormtail.”

Peter pulled a face, “can we still be thinking on these nicknames.”

“Nope, stuck with it.”

Peter sighed and frowned, concentrating hard. There was short silence and then Peter’s head shrunk and then his body and then a pop happened and a tiny, slightly off color rat was sitting in front of them. It’s tail looking slightly mutated. The rat seemed to be embarrassed and as fast as Peter shifted, he changed back, his face red.

“Ok, I know I have a lot of work to do.”

“No way,” James said, elbowing Sirius in the side, “that was pretty good, you’re almost there Peter.”

“You think so?” his voice was hope filled.

“Yes, really.” It wasn’t a total a lie, Peter was getting there; he just wasn’t as close as James and Sirius. Still, they had a couple months left to perfect their forms and now that Peter was going to have Sirius and James’s help, he could be able to complete the task much faster.

The sun had long ago set but the room had a comforting glow. Remus had only just returned looking very tired. Sirius was already curled up; his curtains open as his roommates shuffled about for bed.

“Have fun with the ickle firsties Remmy?”

“So. Much. fun.” Remus dead panned, falling onto his bed heavily.

Sirius chuckled quietly and shifted onto his side. Finally, he was able to relax as his _real_ family moved about, getting ready for bed themselves.

“Night lads,” James mumbled to the room and the last of the candle light plunged the room into darkness.

 Sirius smiled to himself, staring out his slightly open curtains, barely able to make out Remus’s body outline from behind his own. It felt so right to be back at Hogwarts, at home.

____

_Hogwarts, September 2 nd 1975_

Monday morning came bright and early and far too fast.  Remus, naturally, was up early, dressed and showered within fifteen minutes before going around and pulling open three dark curtains on three beds, one of which (Sirius’s) had a spell placed on them to refuse Remus’s gentle hands from wrenching them open. Not that it was a problem for fifth year Remus, no no, he just went with Sirius’s unpredictable (though quite predicable now-a-days) nature and whipped out his wand and had the sun shining in Sirius’s eyes in less than a second. Of course he just moaned loudly _(“Remmmmy_ ”) and shifted away from the sunlight.

Also as predicted, James stumbled up from bed, hair even more astray than normal, cursing and grumbling all the way to the showers and back. By the time breakfast was ready in the great hall Remus shook Sirius awake one last time before heading down with James.

Sirius didn’t show up for breakfast and neither did Peter. In fact no one had seen the likes of Sirius black until twenty minutes into McGonagall’s class. Students thought they had seen her give murderous looks before, but none of them compared to this Monday’s. This Monday’s glare was the best one yet.

Sirius, ever so gracefully, came bursting in the large doors, long hair pulled back (messily), uniform wrinkled and wrong buttoned, and robe falling off one shoulder as he grasped his shoulder bag. Despite the dreadful (though, somehow, still enchantingly appealing) appearance, Sirius beamed happily at McGonagall and vocalized a very loud good morning before falling dramatically into a chair next to Remus.

“Hullo’ Sirius.” Remus murmured, dropping a napkin on top of Sirius’s books.

As always, Monday’s insured Sirius Black would be late to class. Insuring Sirius Black to be late also meant breakfast was always skipped in a mad dash to rush to said class before McGonagall could slap a detention on him. It had been this way since first year. The first time Sirius had shown up late to class in his youth, McGonagall had in fact given him a detention. Even the second Monday Sirius had shown up late, he got a detention and the third and the forth. However, by the fifth week of first year, McGonagall had gotten the hint. Sirius Black would always be late on Mondays, _always_. So the detentions stopped after she realized there were _so_ many more things that Sirius would get detention for.

So, Sirius was late on Mondays since first year. Remus, being the brilliant friend he was, caught on the second week of first year that this was a routine Sirius had developed. And so Remus developed his own routine. And that said routine was sitting warm and contently on top of Sirius’s books.

“Remmy, mate, I love you. You know that? Truly and wholly, forever and ever.”

“So long as I bring you chocolate muffins on Mondays?”

“So long as you bring me chocolate muffins on Mondays.”

Peter never showed up to class.

____

_Hogwarts, September 27 th, 1975_

“Up! Com’on, mate!”

Sirius moaned, it was Saturday. And Saturdays meant all day training with the Gryffindor Quidditch team. Which meant no pranking, no sneaking about the castle and no Remus. Well, not until late that evening.

“Oi! Did you hear me?” and suddenly, Sirius was blinded by the few days of sunshine in October. Of all the days not to be stormy and raining, it had to be the day James went around pulling bed curtains open at insane hours in the morning.

“I heard you, ya fuckin’ wank.” Sirius’s grumbles were only heard by a snoring Peter. James had left for breakfast already, no doubt broom in hand and Quidditch robes on. That also meant Sirius had about ten minutes to get changed into his robes, grab his broom, and _maybe_ grab a slice of toast before he had to be heading out to the field.

It was cold and foggy out on the field and the team huddled close together while staring angrily at James, who was waving his arms dramatically around as if that would make them understand what he was saying more clearly. With every match, James seemed to talk at faster speeds and gain more energy for, well…yelling and cursing and overall threatening his team (Sirius actually) that if they didn’t shape up they would be more sorry than a couple of muggles that walked into Knockturn Alley-(“I don’t think muggles could ever find their way into that place, _Jamesie.”_ )

The thick fog low on the ground swallowed the Earth as the team rose into the air, warming up in the September sunshine. There was a cutting, steady wind though that rustled the trees and brandished the flags on the field. So despite the sunshine, Sirius felt as though his fingers and face just might fall off after becoming completely frozen and James was determined to make the rest of the team feel the same way. He set them up on basic drills, as warm ups before going into new drills that would hopefully gain some kind of one up for the chasers.

During that time, James also decided to hold try outs for a new beater. Sirius alone could defend against  the bludgers during a match and he had been for the past year, seeing as Gryffindor’s second beater, Justin Price, wasn’t much help in matches and usually hit bludgers _toward_ Gryffindor’s players rather than away. Both Sirius and Alice Matthews had been knocked off their brooms more than once by Justin, thankfully only a few feet from the ground and no injuries.

James had finally had enough of Sirius’s bitching about wanting a better beater partner and getting one too many fouls during matches. By the time James called down for a break (still without a new beater) it was noon and the bone chilling wind had brought in storm clouds, covering the little warmth from the sun and threatening rain on the players. James never cancelled cause of rain though and the team knew that, with great regret. They had gotten used to being drenched every year until after winter holidays.  Thankfully James gave them frequent breaks and during the second one, Sirius wandered over to his captain.

“So, found me a new beater partner?”

James sighed and sat down on the bleachers, running a gloved covered hand through his hair. He looked tired and annoyed, but Sirius didn’t care all that much. James could complain after working with Price as a beater partner for almost two years.

“No, I’m just going to keep Price on the team.”

Sirius fumed, glaring at his best friend, “are you mad? He’s going to kill one of us.”

“Well, no one else is any better! Find me a better beater _Black_ and then I’ll kick him off.” James promptly stomped off towards his broom, yelling at teammates to get back up in the air.

The foul mood that James had fallen into seemed to jump across the field and set off a chain reaction. Sirius was quick to pick upon it with his own raging anger and soon the rest of the team slowly began to build up to both of their moods. Already the team tended to argue and disagree on most things. The tension building among the team finally cracked as the sky grew dangerously dark and rain poured furiously and rather sudden. As usual, the argument broke out between Alice and Sirius and instead of going through plays, the two stopped and yelled at each other over the rushing of wind and absurdly loud rainfall. Once they really got going, the other members would start to take sides as well and like always, James was accused of what seemed to be a routine argument in all areas of school.

“Yes, that’s mature Potter, take his side!” Alice’s shriek was almost as bad as a banshee, “Black and Potter, it’s always Black and Potter! You’re not allowed to have favoritism if you’re the captain!”

James sighed with frustration. Sirius and Alice stopped to argue high above the drilling, hovering and glaring stiffly. When Mark joined, James had flown up to stop the ‘gang up on Sirius’ argument. He honestly hadn’t gone up to join the disagreement, just end it.

“I’m not taking sides, Alice, but Sirius is right.”

Alice huffed. She had snipped at Sirius after he had made one too many comments about Price.

“He’s not right! Justin can hold his own during a match, we don’t need a new beater!”

Sirius pushed his soaked hair from his face, rolling his eyes bitterly, “you’re only saying that because you think he’s ‘dashing’!” 

It was no secret that Alice fancied Justin and the only reason Mark was agreeing with Alice was because _he_ fancied her.

“Potter! If you don’t treat Black like the rest of us then-”

“Then what Matthews? You’ll report me to McGonagall? Stopping fucking around, I don’t schedule weekend practices so you can spend all day drooling at Price! There is no reason for your signaling out Sirius-”

“-HA!-”

“-SHUT IT BLACK-Price is a poor beater and I’m not keeping him around just because you want to snog him! And Connor, get your bloody pathetic arse back down there and stop sucking up to Matthews cause you want to snog _her_ -”

“Potter!” Mark looked horrified that James just declared his admires for Alice.

“-oh stop, it’s bloody obvious. Matthews, if _you_ don’t stop treating this as some kind of matchmaker session, I will kick you off the team and replace you with Sirius because honestly he is a better chaser than you and the only reason he is a beater is because Price is a fucking disaster!”

Sirius’s smirk grew even larger and smugger as he stared down Alice, who looked as if she would start foaming at the mouth with rage.

In the next few moments the yelling only got worse as the four Gryffindors burst into shouts all at once.  The rain poured even harder and then, out of nowhere, a bludger came flying at the group. A sickening crunch seemed to echo over the wind and rain and Sirius let out a shout before promptly falling from his broom, the bludger spinning the other way from the collision.

“ _Fuck_!” and James went speeding down after Sirius.

James managed to catch up to Sirius mid-fall and grab onto his arm, however, bludgers were not magically in tune with practices and one came roaring toward James, smashing into the back of his broom, spinning both of them out of control. The two of them fell to the muddy ground with a loud thud and Sirius shouted out in pain, landing on his arm.

“ _Merlin_!” Alice gasped and the team rushed down to the two of them.

Price had gone into a panic state and nearly looked as if he was going to break out in tears, “I’m so sorry!” he yelled over and over as the team closed in on James and Sirius and hopped off their brooms.

“Fucking-argh-stupid, I’m goin’ to blast your bloody head in-” Sirius was glaring murderously at Price, cradling his arm and curled in on himself, muddy and soaked, and now injured.

“Price!” James roared, standing from the ground, stumbling a bit as pain shot up his legs, falling thirty feet was _not_ fun, “you’re off! You’re off the fucking team!”

“I’m sorry, shit, I-”

“ You just took out my best player! If you’re so distracted during a _practice_ that you can’t direct bludgers away safely I’d hate to see what happened during a game! Do you have any idea how high up we were! You could have killed him and this is a fucking _practice!_ ”

“I’m sorry, Black, I-I’m so sorry,” Price was practically sobbing and his hands were shaking as Lisa dragged him away before James could whip out his wand and start hexing him.

Sirius still lay curled on the muddy ground, gritting his teeth and cursing up a storm. Blood streamed down his arm and mingled with the muddy rainwater, tinting it an ugly pink.

“Damn it! My bloody leg too! I’m gunna murder him in charms on Monday!” Sirius spat out blood, allowing James to help him up and lean heavily on him and Alice as they started up to the school.

“Round up the bludgers and put the balls away, practice is over.” James snipped at Mark and Nate, who quickly did as they were told and jumped back on their brooms to get the bludgers and the snitch.

It turns out; falling from thirty feet up would break more than just an arm. Sirius’s leg was also broken, in several places and his ribs were cracked from where the bludger caught him square in the chest. His arm was pulled out of place when James grabbed him and when he landed it had snapped in half, bone breaking through the skin. Random scratches, bruises, and cuts covered his arms and face as well. Madam Pomfrey mended his leg and cracked ribs without more than a painful groan from Sirius, but his arm took a bit more and Sirius woke a sleeping student with his cursing and yelling as Pomfrey snapped the bones back under his skin and mended them. She cleaned up the cuts as well as she could while Sirius was still in his muddy Quidditch uniform and sent him off with a strict order to keep off his leg as much as possible until the mended bones settled back together completely.

Alice muttered something about helping Nate and Mark finish putting away the Quidditch equipment and left the two boys to head back to Gryffindor tower by themselves.

It was evening when James (who was aching all over, he too had fallen off his broom) and a limping Sirius entered the Gryffindor common room. It was packed with students playing exploding snap, catching up, and studying. Lily Evans was curled up on the large couch by the fire, studying with the one person Sirius was waiting all day to see, Remus. However, Sirius was in pain and he was cold and muddy and a headache was raging under his temple and all he wanted was to shower, fall into bed, and not _move_. Instead of running to Remus and irritating the werewolf with mud and rainwater, Sirius limped angrily upstairs, wincing as he did so.

He stood under the warm spray longer than necessary, and by the time he got out he was exhausted from the drills and the pain, and he was craving chocolate… immensely. But of course, the way the day went, he was out and that meant a trip downstairs to whine to Moony until he gave up a bit of chocolate that he always had with him, _always_.

James was clean and shinny when Sirius stumbled back down the stairs, sitting in the large chair across the couch, chatting with Remus and surprisingly, Lily. In the moment Sirius reached them, Justin and Lisa stepped in, Justin still quite pale and shaking. Most of the common room went quiet, word had spread already from Alice, Mark, and Nate (who were sitting in a corner, on the opposite side of the room) that Justin Price had knocked Sirius Black off his broom from over thirty feet up. James glowered and Remus and Lily looked up at the sudden lack of noise with confusion. Sirius glared viciously at Price, who had frozen on the spot once he noticed Sirius. James stood,

“Price.” He said, in a warning tone.

Price took that as a sign to hurry pass Sirius and up the staircase, which he did, knowing fully that all the Gryffindor’s in the common room were watching him. The tension eased, but many students kept sneaking glances at James and Sirius.

“What was that about?” Lily asked, shutting her book closed.

It was that moment that both Lily and Remus registered Sirius’s appearance (even though he was clean he still looked roughed and tired) and Remus gave a small concerned shout,

“Sirius! What happened to you?”

Sirius grunted and limped over to the couch, falling next to Remus with a wince. James sat back down.

“Price knocked Sirius off his broom.”

Lily snorted a laugh.

“It’s not funny, Evans,” both Remus and Sirius looked at James in surprise. They had never heard James address Lily so coldly, “the stupid git could have killed him.”

Lily frowned and stood, “that doesn’t make him stupid, Potter.”

“No, you’re right, but it does make him off the team.”

Remus snorted a laugh this time and Lily glared at all three of them before stocking off to sit with Alice.

James glowered even more. Lily and Alice were good friends and since Alice fancied Price, Lily, of course, would defend a close friend’s crush. It was no doubt that Lily went to bad mouth against James and put Alice in a worse state, which she would no doubt take out on James next practice.

Sirius just basked in his own bitter mood and gratefully took the chocolate that Remus handed him, allowing himself to snuggle back into the couch, arms cross, sitting closely to Remus, and just wait for the numbing pain to subside.

He zoned out listening to Remus turning the pages of whatever he was reading and James’s quiet tenor and the fire crackling. The warmth of the Gryffindor common room was soothing even with the low rumble of other students chattering.

Eventually, Sirius fell asleep, head falling onto Remus’s shoulder.

____

_Hogwarts, October 3 rd, 1975_

“Jamesie,”

The one time he was actually trying to study, the _one time_!

“Jamesiee,”

He wished Sirius wouldn’t call him that when girls walked by, _cute_ girls.

“Jamesieee!”

He had been fine, totally fine when Sirius had declared last year, his loss of interest in boobs and made it his goal in life to be fucked by a bloke.

“ _Jamesie_.”

“Ahh! Sirius! Don’t do that!”

He did _not_ however, agree to Sirius whispering _Jamesie_ and blowing seductively on his ear.  He most certainly did _not_.

“Oh, sorry, _James_.” 

Nor did he agree to letting Sirius slide his hands over his shoulders and chest to link in a very, very intimate hug.

Sirius sighed against James’s cheek and pulled away, vaulted gracefully over the couch to land comfortably next to James.

“I miss Remus.”

“Pads…he’s just in the library.”

“Yeah, but…I’m _bored_.”

James grinned. A bored Sirius, he could definitely get on board with. Because a bored Sirius meant pranks and James was in need of a good prank.

“Splendid Pads, let’s-”

“- I mean I’m _bored_! I miss Remmy.” And he pouted like a five year old, hunching in on himself.

James frowned. Sirius was _that_ kind of bored. James knew the moment Sirius had told him that blokes were just so much more interesting that Sirius didn’t mean any bloke, he meant Remus. Remus was more interesting than any girl or guy in Hogwarts. James had known about the crush, yes (not that he was going to tell Sirius that he knew. It would ruin him if he knew he was so transparent). He was completely fine with it too. At first he thought he wasn’t, but honestly, he couldn’t see Sirius or Remus with anyone else since. The two of them together just seemed so _right_. But he didn’t see how that allowed Sirius to suddenly want to touch everyone, _all_ the time. Of course, he still shouldn’t have been surprised, Sirius was always more physical than most people and _absolutely_ cuddlier than any bloke James had ever met. Gender gave no bounds to Sirius’s madness.

“Look, if you’re going to bitch and moan could you be so polite and go do it alone.”

Sirius frowned, glaring at James, “Thanks. You’re such a great friend, _Jamesie.”_

James flinched, “don’t call me that!”

Sirius chuckled and propped his feet up on the small table and leaned back, wiggling comfortably into the couch.

“I’m just helping you out, mate.”

“Yes thank you, I’ve always wanted that name to catch on.”

Sirius shrugged and stood abruptly, “k, your loss, love. Evans only looks over at you every time I call you that.”

James’s eyes perked up, “really?”

“Really, truly, with lust filled eyes.”

“Really?” James was getting a bit excited.

“…if lust filled eyes means glaring daggers of murder, then... yes, definitely.”

James barked a laugh and stood just as abruptly as Sirius had only seconds before, though not as gracefully, he knocked his ink bottle over in doing so, soaking his essay for potions. Sirius looked on, a bit worried really; James was once able to tell the difference between lust and murderous intentions.

“Evans, darling!” James nearly ran over a first year coming down the staircase while crossing the common room at top speed, leaning heavily against Lily’s chair, “fancy a skinny dip in the lake?”

 “Right then, shall we head to the library Padfoot lad?” Sirius amused himself, bowing slightly as if allowing someone to go in front of him, “yes, I think we shall, love.”

And Sirius strode giddily out the portal, ignoring stares of bewildered Gryffindors, whose attention was quickly shot toward James getting slapped multiple times.

____

_Hogwarts, October 9 th_

“Today,” Sirius announced, face deadly serious, “today is the day. No more waiting.”

James glanced at Peter, who looked a bit nervous.

“Sirius, uh, I haven’t, well- I think a bit more-”

“No! We’ve had sincesecond year! Today’s the day.”

And he stocked off to Remus, who was telling off a couple of second years for letting lose their pet frogs in the girls’ dorm.

“Don’t worry Wormtail, you’ve got it.”

Peter frowned and shrugged, “I guess, but it’s still not going to be as impressive as yours or Sirius’s. I mean a _rat_ really?”

James chuckled and clapped him on the shoulder, “we’re not doing this for us. Just remember that and it won’t seem so bad.”

“Uh-huh.”

At lunch, Sirius announced to Remus that they had a surprise for him. And despite the apprehensive ‘alright’ from Remus, Sirius was satisfied that he wouldn’t try to hide from it. But it was only lunch and they had potions to get through before they would be able to head back to the dorm. So Sirius shoved down the rest of his sandwich and stood suddenly, grabbing Remus’s arm and yanking him up,

“Not now though, later.” And Sirius dragged them off to potions.

The dungeons seemed extra cold and dark and Sirius wished he had grabbed a sweater for under his uniform. Even Remus, whose werewolf blood always gave him a higher temperature, was shivering.

“D-damn,” Peter chattered, “it’s freezing down here.”

“Slughorn better have that classroom warmer,” James muttered, glancing at Sirius, who seemed to be turning blue.

The Gryffindor’s gathered into the potions classroom with their fellow Ravenclaws with disappointment as frosty air filled their lungs. It seemed even colder. Everyone took their seats, sitting as close as possible to each other for warmth. Sirius glared at the front of the class room, practically sitting in Remus’s lap. At their tables, a large cauldron sat at the center instead of their usually size ones. The potions classroom was so dark it was nearly impossible to see the ice that was forming on the walls. The class sat for a long five minutes before a rustling came from the front and Slughorn appeared from his office, arms full of tiny bottles with blue liquid in them.

“Good afternoon, sorry I’m a bit la”-

“-Professor, why is it like the arctic in here?” Alice interrupted from the back, clinging to Lily.

Slughorn, who seemed to be just fine in the freezing room stilled and blinked stupidly at the class. Everyone stared back shaking and teeth chattering.

“Yes, yes, I am sorry my dears, I forgot to mention,” he trailed off and dropped the tiny bottles onto his desk; “well anyway, today we are making a very complicated potion.”

Remus snorted in Sirius’s ear, “When are we not?”

Sirius patted Remus’s thigh, knowing Remus’s distain for his lack of talent in potion making.

Slughorn then went into great detail on the blood-replenishing potion and its affects used mainly for healing and why it is so difficult to create correctly.

James, who never listened for more than five minutes of a lecture, leaned over to Sirius,“Notice how we’ve been making healing potions lately?”

Sirius though had already gotten out the book to look at the ingredients and he tsked, “this doesn’t seem so complicated. I don’t get what the fuss is about.”

Remus glanced at it too and nodded in agreement.

It became apparent why the potion was so difficult to concoct very quickly, as well as why it was so cold in the dungeons.  In large amounts, which this potion was only useful if made that way, the potion becomes very unstable and difficult to maintain its healing powers. It constantly had to be stirred in slow counter clock wise stirs of intervals of exactly ten seconds apart.  Apart from that the fire used to boil the potion was so hot that by half an hour into class students were pulling off their outer robes and wiping sweat off their brows. Remus, while able to handle the cold better than others but not heat, looked just about to faint from overheating.

“Remus, here, ground the unicorn horn,” Sirius muttered, switching places with the young werewolf to give him some relief. Moving away from the boiling cauldron didn’t help much though, the entire room, frozen moments before, was now so hot by the blue flames that steam from the ice had clouded the entire classroom. The potion had indeed proven to be a difficult one and with each group of four, only two amongst them where getting the potion even remotely correct. James and Sirius of course, were all too smug about their talents for well, everything and didn’t bother to keep their voices down and by default, their bragging. And much to the Ravenclaw students’ discomfort, the only other group was Lily Evans's group that seemed to be making the potion even better then the infamous marauders.

By the time the last hour of class rolled around nearly half the class had loosed ties, rolled up sleeves, and a few had unbuttoned the top collar for some relief. James kept cursing under his breath as he wiped the fog from his glasses for the tenth time. Their large cauldron had finally stopped boiling and the potion inside was now still and a deep red, smoking slightly. At which point Slughorn called time and many students sat nervously as he came around to look at the finished product. Of course, most cared more about getting out of the extremely hot room rather than their skill at creating the potion. With twenty points awarded to Gryffindor for Lily’s group and the marauders combined, the class quickly picked up their robes, stuffed their book bags and hustled out the door. Smoke poured out the potions class room and sighs of relief filled the dungeons hallways.

“Bloody hell,” Sirius sighed, “I’ve never been so hot in my life.” 

Remus nodded weakly next to him. The four of them battled crowded hallways back to their common room, glad that potions had been the last class for the day. They quickly over took the coolest corner in the common room, far from their usual spot by the fire. Instead of usual chatter and talk of pranks, the four of them sat in silence, staring at the floor. It wasn’t until sometime much later, when the common room was mostly empty, did Sirius jump up from the floor,

“Blimey! I almost forgot!” and he grabbed James and Remus by their robes, motioning for Peter to follow. They rushed up to their dorm and just as Remus was about to enter, Sirius stepped in front, halting him.

“Wait out here.”

Remus narrowed his eyes in suspicion, “This had better not be a prank.”

“It’s not, honest. It’s your surprise.”

“Why don’t I believe you?” Remus asked.

“Cause you’re a paranoid bastard that just won’t admit that I, Sirius Black am positively the most honest, most wonderful man-”

“-boy-” James pipped, sticking his head back out of their room.

“-man-”

“-girl-” Peter snickered from behind James.

“- _man,_ that ever lived.”

“Oh yes, how could I have forgotten?”

“Ok,” Sirius shooed James and Peter back into their room and turned to Remus, “now count to ten and then come in.”

“Oook, but so help me, if something falls on me when I come in-“ Remus muttered under his breath, feeling Sirius move away from him.

Remus counted to ten, feeling a bit stupid standing out in the stairwell by himself. He braced himself as he reached for the door and stepped in. He only took one step when he froze, wondering if he had stepped into a weird dream.  Two animals where sitting in the middle of the room, staring at him. A stag, just a few inches taller than him stood, clean and proud, its antlers small. Beside him a large black dog sat, its tail going a mile a minute. A small squeak brought his attention back to the stag, and he saw a small dark brown rat sitting on one of its antlers.

The door clicked shut behind him, echoing loudly in the silence.

Remus knew these animals, he _knew_ them. He could not stop staring at the dog, whose eyes were exactly like Sirius’s. Remus would later blame it on shock that it took him so long to figure out that those animals were indeed his friends. But at that moment all he could do was stare.

The dog’s tail slowly stopped wagging and it seemed to get a look of concern on its face. It then whined, softly, and stepped towards Remus. The movement made it more real and Remus suddenly didn’t have any feeling in his legs. He fell to his knees, still wide-eyed. The dog took a few more steps up to him and whined again. 

Remus leaned in and reached up, slowly, as if the dog would disappear, “ _Sirius…”_ it was barely a whisper.

He sunk his fingers into the thick black hair and it felt soft and silky and smooth. He threaded it through his fingers a few times, watching it catch the dim moon light from the window before sliding up to rub the back of the dog’s ears. The dog’s tail was wagging again and he let out a soft bark that sounded enduring and gentle. Remus wasn’t stupid, he may not have caught on as quickly as Sirius and James, no one really caught on as fast as they did, but he had no problem admitting that he was one of the smartest kids at school. So he knew what they had become and what it meant for full moon nights. It meant he didn’t have to be alone. For a brief moment, the actual realization of how dangerous this could get, Remus faltered and his hands twitched to stop scratching the dog’s ears. But the soft nudge of the dog’s cold nose and an impatient hoof stomp chased it out of his mind.

Embarrassed to find tears lingering in his eyes, Remus threw his arms around the dog’s neck and hugged him hard. He buried his face in the soft fur and wasn’t surprised when he felt shifting and suddenly he was nuzzling a very soft and warm collarbone and Sirius’s arms wrapped around his back.

“Soo what do you think?” Sirius asked, nervously, his voice hushed.

“I can’t believe you guys did this.”

“Hey,” James said, walking up and reaching out a hand to his shoulder, “we’re marauders, it’s what we do.”

Remus pulled away from Sirius and rolled his eyes, “no, what ‘we’ do is get detention-”

“-and nick food-”

“-and torture Slytherins-”

“-and look out for each other.” Sirius finished, with a determined, finalized head nod from James.

There was a long moment of silence that Remus thought he would start tearing up all over again. The concern and tenderness in Sirius’s eyes nearly did that on its own. Instead though, like a true marauder, he went for the normal tease.

“A dog huh?” Remus smirked, “fits you pretty well.”

Sirius smiled, “yeah well, we’ve been able to do this since last year.”

“What!”

“Well, it wasn’t perfect,” James pitched.

“Yeah, remember when we said we should all have awesome nicknames so no one could figure out it was us doing all the pranks and what not?”

“Good plan, that one, cause we never get detention anymore.”

“Shut it Pete-y! Anyway, the real reason was because we were deciding our nicknames as Animagai.”

Remus chuckled, he had been wondering about that for some time. But James and Sirius had only let the nicknames slip through once or twice and he just forgot to ask.

“So, do I get a nick name?”

Sirius snickered, “we thought Moony was appropriate.”

Remus rose an eye brow, “you don’t think that’s too obvious?”

James and Sirius shook their heads, grinning.

“Besides,” Peter chirped in, “ours are obvious too, I mean Prongs, and Padfoot? Hard to miss what animals those are for.”

“Yeah Wormtail, cause yours is so hard to figure out.”

Remus ignored their bickering and bit his lip, “You know you’re breaking the law.”

James shrugged, “so are you, you little unregistered cub you.”

Sirius glanced at James oddly.

“What?” he yelped, “You’re allowed to talk like that but I’m not?”

“Yes, James. We've been over this.”

Remus snickered.

“We don’t care.” Peter said, “honest.”

“Besides,” James said, “what are they gunna do? We’re probably the only students to successfully become Animagai on our own.”

Remus sat in silence, trying very hard not to break down. He looked into Sirius’s eyes, which glinted silver-ish in the dim light of their room.

“Ok,” Peter shivered feeling awkward in the silence and watching Remus stare into Sirius’s eyes, “can we go raid the kitchens now?”

James smirked and grabbed Peter into a headlock, dragging him out the door and down the stairs, shouting about the whole way.

“Moony, you really are going to let us, aren’t you?”

Remus made a mental note about how fast the name stuck. He stared at Sirius, whose hair was starting to fall out of its tie and frame his pale face. His lips were chapped and his cheeks still tingled pink from potions class. His eyes were wide and glossy, the pleading look nearly did Remus in.

“Yeah.” He croaked and the smile that erupt on Sirius’s face hit Remus like a ray of sunshine.

____

_Hogwarts, October 20 th 1975_

Saturday’s were no longer part of the weekend for Quidditch players, especially Gryffindor players. Still, Sirius was glad that it was a game they were playing instead of an endless, all day practice.

However, what Sirius was not glad about, was the dark envelope that had landed in his breakfast so conveniently not ten minutes ago. He stared at it, debating if he should throw it away or not.

“Morning, Pads.” Moony stumbled down across from him, “Pads?”

Sirius continued to stare down the letter that was now starting to soak up bacon grease.

“Oi! Padfoot!”

“Hmmmm?” Sirius grunted, “Moony!” and seemed surprised to see the young werewolf sitting in front of him.

Remus chuckled, “what’s stealing your attention?”

Sirius frowned and snatched up the letter in a flash, stuffing it in his pocket, “nothing.”

Remus frowned. Obviously it wasn’t nothing, but James stumbled down next to Sirius and started ranting about plays and how much he hated Slytherins. There was no point in trying to change the topic now, a game was to be won in the next few hours and until then, Sirius’s and James’s focus would only be on Quidditch. As they ate, Remus couldn’t help but notice the off smile that didn’t reach Sirius’s eyes though.

James and Sirius rushed through breakfast and were up and rushing out the great hall with good luck shouts from their house. Outside it was hard to see past the rain and the two ran to the locker rooms, soaked.

Sirius grabbed his uniform, heading for one of the stalls, wanting to read the letter before the game. Listening to the echo of Gryffindor’s team, Sirius’s hands shook as he tore open the wet envelope, inside was a very short letter.

_Sirius,_

_Your father has fallen ill, as next heir in line to the Black Family you are expected to conduct our family affairs and peruse the best course for us. As your Father’s illness has been getting worse, now is a good time to start preparing for this position. I suggest you come home for a weekend to discuss with me what they will be exactly. You should also start thinking over the company you keep Sirius, I will not have the Black’s name tarnished. I am expecting a repl-_

“Sirius! Five minutes!” James pounded on the door.

Sirius glared angrily at his Mother’s letter and didn’t bother to finish reading it. He stuffed it back in his robes and quickly started to change into his quidditch robes. His temper was slowly growing as he kept thinking about the letter and picturing his Mother’s smug tone. He exhaled aggressively and slammed the stall’s door closed.

It was pouring and thunder rolled loudly over the team’s heads, safe in the locker room for now. The Gryffindor team was huddled together watching James pace back and forth and then launch into a rant. They had ten minutes until game time, which meant ten minutes of James-banshee.

“Oi, chill, mate. Screaming at us now isn’t going to make us listen to you scream at us out there.”

James just glared and snapped at Sirius, which didn’t help either of their moods. But they didn’t have time to fight it out; they were due on the field.

The wind and rain didn’t help any team and it was near impossible to hear anything up in the clouds. The fact that Sirius had to single handedly beat away bludgers kept building up his anger and he more than once screamed at the replacement for Price, who was just as bad, the stupid git couldn’t even tell a bludger apart from the quaffle. Thirty minutes into the game Sirius himself got knocked in the side by a bludger and he heard a sickening crack.

 “Black!”

James’s voice was the only warning before a cold rush whizzed passed his ear and the grumbling sounds of another bludger. Cursing, Sirius spun around and followed the bludger, which had locked on to Alice, determined to knock her to the ground. He had no doubt that he would catch up to it, which he then did, smirking gleefully at Alice through the wind and the rain and the pain. Though his momentary pause got him side-nicked by one of the Ravenclaw chasers and his vision swam for a second, his ribs protesting. From then on out it was four hours of stormy Quidditch in which Sirius was pretty sure he _never_ wanted to play again. The game was dragging, they were tied and all his energy was used up. He now had a massive headache, his ribs felt as if they had snapped in two and he could barely keep himself up on his broom. The screaming from the students was drowned out by the thunder that couldn’t _possibly_ be still going on. Storms were supposed to be short. Unfortunately, the attention span of bludgers was short as well and Sirius swooped down as James zigged in and out of players, zooming toward Ravenclaw’s goal, quaffle in hand, bludger following behind him. Swinging hard, Sirius knocked the bludger toward the keeper and won James an opening for a goal.

Now that he was lower to the ground the screaming students were louder and their screams intensified as something happened that Sirius completely missed thanks to all the swimming his head was doing. A shout from James clued him in though and suddenly Sirius was engulfed in his best friend’s strong arms getting jostled as the rest of the team came flying down, Mark Connor holding the snitch high above his head. Gryffindor had won.

“Fuck! Connor, mate, marry me!”

Alice laughed, smacking James on the shoulder, “it’s just the first game Potter, save the confessions for the cup!” her voice was horse and hard to hear over the screaming and the thunder, but her smile was bright and she was jumping up and down just as much as James. The two of them pulled the whole team in for a jumpy huddle of sweaty, tried Gryffindor’s with Sirius squashed in between James and Alice. The smile on his face was hard to keep and as the final announcements were spoken, Sirius stumbled back and everything went quiet. James jostled him a bit too roughly and he sagged, falling back against his best mate.

“Sirius!”

 He didn’t even feel James’s arms catching him, keeping him from hitting the muddy ground.

_

“James!”

James glanced up at Remus through his soaked bangs. The hospital wing was empty save for Sirius laying unconscious in a bed, his teammates around him.

“Hey, he’s ok.”

The panic in Remus’s face didn’t ease and he pushed James to the side gently, “Did he get hit?”

“A couple times,” Alice replied, much to James’s surprise. He hadn’t even seen that.

 “Oi!” the small group shuddered as Madam Pomfrey came bustling in, shoving them away from Sirius’s bedside, “all of you, out.”

All but James and Remus moved; most people never dared to stand down Madam Pomfrey. Though it was noted by many that she had a soft-spot for Remus, which was probably why she didn’t shove James and Remus out when they didn’t budge. She just clicked her tongue in slight annoyance, checked Sirius and bustled off to start mixing whatever it was that would get the injured teen back on his feet.

Remus frowned and reached out, placing the back of his hand on Sirius’s forehead, “he looks flushed. He’s got a fever.”

“Not for long he won’t,” Madam Pomfrey shuffled back, scooted James over and Remus up, carrying a cup full of something that was promising to taste terrible, “now both of you, out. I mean it; you can come back and get him in the morning.”

James felt heavy-hearted even though they had won their first match. They both headed out, meeting a breathless Peter just outside the Hospital wing.

When James dropped by in the morning to greet Sirius it was clear that the oldest Black son was in a dreadful mood and snipped and growled at everyone, including the three marauders. None of them knew what had happened in between the match yesterday and now to make Sirius so moody. Not until Remus mentioned that Sirius had been staring at a letter at breakfast. Of course, James didn’t have time to ask Sirius as they had a full day of classes and Sirius kept dodging them and sulking by himself.

By mid afternoon, the sun had come out to be one of the few sunny days in late fall and James felt restless as he was restricted to the charms classroom of Professor Flitwick. Beside him Peter sat snoozing on his books and his other side was empty. Remus sat patiently next to the open seat, re-reading the chapter they had for homework. It was just after lunch time and the class room began filling up as students grudgingly took their seats. It was clear that everyone would rather be outside in the sunshine then in a stuffy charms class. For the three marauder boys it was somewhat of a relief though. They had potions with Slughorn that morning and no one more than Remus was glad to be out of the dungeons. It was almost time for class to start and Sirius was one of the few who were not yet there, though Sirius didn’t have to worry; James and Remus always saved him a seat.

Just as Flitwick clambered up his books, Sirius came rushing in, frown on, eyes dark and moody. He pushed past a few students and carefully slid behind Remus and then down into his chair with a bitter sigh. His face was flushed and he was breathing deeply, hair ruffled and looking wind tossed. He had been up at the owlery. Which meant he had been either reading or returning a letter from home. Neither made Sirius happy.

“Sirius-” Peter spoke up.

“-FOR THE LOVE OF MERLIN PETER! I DON’T KNOW, DO YOUR OWN HOMEWORK!”

The entire class stopped chatting and looked around to the four boys.

“…you have owl shit on your shoulder.”

Sirius stared at Peter, breathing heavily before groaning angrily and flopped his head down onto the desk. Remus smiled sympathetically and patted Sirius’ back, whisking out his wand to clear away the bird mess. The rest of class consisted of fuming glares and terrified glances, and ended still without an idea as to why one of their own was so upset.

____

_Hogwarts, November 1 st, 1975_

James for one, was glad to have Quidditch that day, of course that meant a sulking and moody Sirius dragging behind him as well. At least in Quidditch he could ignore it for awhile, or so he thought. It was stormy and pouring down the entire practice. Sirius’s mood just kept getting worse and worse, he was commenting on everything James commanded of the team, snarling sarcastically,

“Oh yeah, that will get us the cup,”, “Really? The snitch wins us the match, _no_!”, and “it’s just a little rain, we can see just _fine_.”

James was just about having enough of it by the time half of practice was over. Sirius had proved to be a nuisance, he insisted on goofing off and not in a friendly way, trying to make Mark Connor and Lisa Sandhorn fall off their brooms and hit every bludger in Nate Smith’s direction just for laughs.

“Damnit Black! Knock it off! No bloody beater sends bludgers to the keeper all the fucking time!”

“I do!” Sirius’s voice seemed to carry on the stormy wind rather than be drowned out like everyone else’s. Figures Sirius’s voice would be the only one James could hear loud and clear all day.

If Sirius was getting this good at knocking bludgers around then Slytherin’s keeper had better be out in the first five minutes on their first match with them. By the time practice was over James (and everyone else as well) felt he would never rid the water from his _underwear._ Showering in the locker room seemed a waste as they would have to make a run for it back to the castle anyway, so James just went straight back, Sirius a few steps ahead of him, laughing bitterly when a few fist years slipped in the mud.

Fortunately for James, Sirius himself then slipped in a patch and fell, _hard_. Unfortunately, his bark of laughter did not win any points with Sirius and only got him a famous Black death glare.

“Oh come off it, Pads,” James offered his gloved hand at his scowling friend, “really, how long do we plan on keeping this up?”

Sirius continued to glare up at him, though the rain fell in his eyes and made him squish his nose up pathetically. At long last, Sirius sighed and took James’s hand.

“Suppose you’re right.”

“No shit, now stop being a git.”

“I said alright, what more to you want, geez you needy bastard.”

“I meant to Moony. He’s feeling dreadful. If you’re gonna be all moody, then at least explain why or get over it and don’t explain. ”

There was a long silence of Sirius thinking, “Fine.” And half stomped the rest of the way to the castle.

Sirius continued to glare until they were in the safety of the common room; of course the clean floor and dry carpets and chairs were not safe, not while it was Quidditch season. Remus had taken pity on a particular comfy chair and sat on it, reading, keeping it safe from wandering in players. Though now that Sirius decided the suffering was over, Remus himself was no longer safe, so really, he had just insured the poor chairs destiny. The moment Sirius’s grey eyes found Remus he dropped his broom and body padding, bounded cheerfully over and in the last few steps took large, almost running strides and leaped over the back of the chair, screaming all the way.

“MOONY,” and landed right on Remus’s lap, soaking not only Remus, but his book and well, the chair, “hello love, enjoying the rain?”

“Sirius!”

Of course screaming at Sirius never accomplished anything. Remus found himself getting hugged and a painful hair ruffle before Sirius jumped back to his feet and bounded up the stairs, laughing hysterically all the way. Remus sat in shock, very damp and book definitely ruined with mud.

James felt this was somehow his fault.

“Sorry, Moony. Maybe I should have waited till after showers to make up.”

“Just a bit Prongs, just a bit.”

And just like that everything fell back into place.

“Eh, Remus, Peter isn’t up in our room now is he?”

“Why?”

“Oh no.”

 Sure enough, before James could even reach the steps, Peter came down hastily, pale and loss of words. He looked at James, then at Remus, then back at James and just walked straight out of the common room.

“What do you think Pads did to him?”

“Prongs, I would like to think that by now, after five years, that you never want to know.”

_

James woke in the middle of the night, not to the normal insanity of the dorm at that hour, but the silence of it. Not managing to drift back to slumber, he staggered up and thought about catching up on his potions essay. The empty bed on the far side of the room though changed his mind and quietly, as to not wake Moony, who got very grumpy, went looking for his missing roommate.

He didn’t have to go far; he found Sirius in the common room, curled up on the large chair; Moony’s current for fun book on his lap, staring into the fire.

“Pads, if you’re going to be up this late, at least make yourself useful and plan pranks or sneak to the kitchens.”

Sirius shifted and waited for James to sit down on the couch. The silence was nerve wracking and James wanted to do nothing then break it with a joke, but something in Sirius’s posture told him not too.

“Father’s ill.”

“So?”

Sirius frowned, “so, he’s _really_ ill. Mother wants me to come home for a bit. Wants me to start planning to take over the head of the house.” He made a face.

James knew Sirius wouldn’t go home, even if his father died. Sirius had grown to hate his family, more than anything, even more than Snape. After a long moment of silence that radiated Sirius’s anger James stood and took Remus’s book from Sirius’s lap,

“Come on, sleep‘s good you know, helps you learn.”

Sirius snorted at him, “Prongs, dear, I think perhaps you are mistaking me for some other poor Gryffindor. I do not _learn_ for I already know all. I am just here to lighten your otherwise dull life.”

“Come on,” James prodded and weakly pulled at Sirius’s arm.

It wasn’t until they were back up in the dorm and under their own covers did James realize what Sirius really was upset about. As much as Sirius hated his family, they were the only people that had to put up with him. At least with his family he had someone, even if it was out of manipulation and hate, at least he wasn’t _alone._

Sirius hated being alone. James frowned and twisted over, determined to never let his best mate end up that way.

____

_Shrieking Shack, November 8 th 1975_

For the first time, Moony woke to find a small group of animals in his territory. He growled, unsure and backed into a corner, baring teeth.  He was very confused, but something seemed familiar. It took a moment for the wolf to figure it out, it was their smell. The black dog took a shy step forward, ears down and tail between his legs. He whined, bowing slightly to Moony. The wolf recognized the pose as submissive. He stepped forward, no longer snarling and sniffed the dog. There seemed to be an odd tension in the air and then Moony nuzzled the dog’s muzzle, and gave an interested whine. The stag relaxed and the rat braved sitting on the stag’s head. The dog barked happily, encouraging Moony to mingle with the small group.

And then Moony was out in the fresh clean air, running about and jumping and chasing the big black dog. The stag and the rat close behind, keeping watch.

When day break came, the dog whined and slowly approached the curled in human boy, who was bleeding and shaking. The Stag not far behind and the rat hiding behind his front hoof.  Moony was gone for the month.

Remus slowly gained conscious and the first thing he saw was a large shaggy dog, silver-blue eyes worried and whining.

“Padfoot…”

Padfoot crawled on his stomach and nuzzled Remus’s arm. Remus smiled, tired and injured, but for the first time he felt as if he wasn’t dyeing, the pain was bearable and he remembered the full moon.

“Padfoot!” James now stood near the door, “we’ve gotta go.”

Padfoot whined, nuzzled Remus once more before bounding out the door after James and Peter.

Remus lay waiting, the echoing of wrestling with Padfoot still fresh in his mind.

____

_Hogwarts, November 20 th 1975_

On the first snowfall of the year, a surprise happened to all of Gryffindor. Of course, Gryffindor’s should have been used to oddities by now, or just the fact that Sirius Black would be doing something outlandish and crazy and there was no point in trying to stop him or act surprised or weird-ed out when something happened. So when Sirius came running in, drenched in not only water, but mud, and of all things, snow, no one really looked up. Though the hundreds of snowballs that chased after him did get attention and there was a moment of just screaming until the Gryffindor common room was suddenly filled with piles of snow and a massive snowball fight, nay, _war_ had broken out.

It lasted surprisingly long, until Abbot came down from his room, shouting for them to take it outside before he went to McGonagall. Which, again, surprisingly, most of the Gryffindor’s _did_ take it outside, where the ground was covered in deep fluffy white snow. It wasn’t long before a few large passing groups of Ravenclaw students got sucked in and a battle to defend Gryffindor’s bravery broke out. Walls were built, trenches were dug and piles and piles of snowballs were made and charmed to lock to target and _not_ give up until they hit said target. It seemed at first that the house of red and gold would lose, nobody in their right mind would go up against a Ravenclaw; they were the most intelligent after all. But Ravenclaw didn’t have the marauders.

James and Sirius transfigured falling snow walls into forts of ice, which the poor snowballs, did absolutely no damage. Peter, though usually not helpful in any situation, had mad skills at making the _perfect_ snowball and Gryffindor had been out on the grounds for _hours_ before Ravenclaw declared war. While Remus was not usually up for sporting type events, a good snow fight was better than Quidditch and he charmed lines of snowmen to sacrifice in the battle. They even went so far as to make tunnels, _tunnels,_ under Ravenclaw’s troops. From there they popped in and out of the ground, shoving handfuls of snow into their pants, shoving them into charging snowmen, and even managed to turn a few of them traitor.

In the end, Gryffindor won spectacularly, with a massive charmed _wave_ of snow at least six feet high, and both houses either fell to the ground, laughing madly, or headed back inside before McGonagall or Flitwick came out to shout detention on all of them.

Eventually, everyone did wander back into the common room and an entire Saturday was wasted (though not in most students eyes) or so was Remus’s words and he had them all seated and staring at open books the moment they were changed and dried. It was a bit difficult to calm down from the roughhousing and the common room was full of chatter and excitement, especially with the holidays right around the corner.

Sirius and James were curled up on the floor, heads together and mumbling over something that was most definitely _not_ a book.

For the fifth time, Peter glanced nervously at them from his potions essay, “Moony, I don’t like the way they’re giggling.”

Remus hummed in acknowledgement before glancing up from his own essay at the two dark haired wizards-in- training.

Now James was _not_ known to _giggle_. Sirius on the other hand giggled daily, at the most peculiar things, sometimes at absolutely nothing. When the two of them were together, they most certainly _never_ giggled. It was always a loud cackling sort of laugh, especially just after a prank. It was a bit frightening really, even though Remus was fully aware that he too joined in the ‘evil laughter’. But Peter was right, in this instance, they were _giggling._ Their foreheads were so close to touching that Remus thought that they would end up kissing sooner or later. Both of them had _that_ smile on their face, the ‘ _We’re fucking geniuses and you’ll never figure out what we’re doing_ ’ face. The whole school knew that face and all were completely terrorized by it. They were practically glowing with mischief and in-between a few hushed words they would collapse in giggles before regaining their posture just to crumble all over again.

Apparently this had been going on since they sat down to ‘study’. Remus watched them fall into giggles and back four times before thinking they resembled Alice and Lisa (who, also, were currently sitting very close together and giggling away at something). Whatever was making Sirius and James act so, it must be stopped. It was enough that Sirius was rather…flamboyant at times, but for _James_ …Remus would give up his whole stash of chocolate if Lily came wandering by right now.

Peter seemed to be having the opposite effect; the more the two giggled together the more Peter seemed to get freaked out until,

“Oi! Would you _bloody_ stop!”

James and Sirius paused, faces going completely lax and serious and turned to look at Peter in sync.

“Well,” Sirius huffed, though his eyes were sparkling happily, “see if you’ll ever find out what we’re planning now, Pete-y.”

Peter blushed slightly, he hated when Sirius called him that, “well, you guys are _giggling._ It’s _weird._ ”

James honestly looked offended, “we’re not _giggling!”_

Sirius giggled. James smacked his arm.

“Prongs, if you keep going the way you are, you’ll grow breasts.” Remus had gone back to his essay.

“Maybe he wants to grow boobies.” Sirius snickered .Peter flushed; apparently just talking about girls’ chests was enough to get him drooling.

“No, Pads, that’s you.” James rolled his eyes as Sirius mocked gasped and fell to the floor.

“So,” Remus was sure this conversation was going nowhere except a long moment of insanity which Sirius seemed to be gearing up for, “what _are_ you two doing? Shouldn’t you be including Wormtail and I, or are you casting your fellow marauder’s away?”

Sirius sat up in a second and grabbed the parchment he and James had been giggling over, and hopped onto the couch next to Remus, “Moony, love, I would _never_ cast you away! You bring me chocolate and pet my hair and scratch my ears, I wonder if wolf Moony likes that too? I think-”

“ _Ok_ , Pads, let me see.” And Sirius practically pounced on to Remus and shoved the parchment in his lap.

 “Oi, don’t smother me.” Remus said, blushing.

James snorted and Remus picked up the parchment to look at it better.

“A _map?_ You were giggling over a map?” Remus was very unimpressed. In his lap a very poorly drawn map of well… something, was glaring up at him, with Sirius’s pleasant handwriting noting things around the edges.

“Not just a _map_ dear Moony,” James nearly shouted, standing and leaped over the table to sit on it and grab the paper from Remus’s hands, clearly insulted.

Peter leaned over and snorted, “ _That’s_ suppose to be a map?”

James leaned away from Peter; flaying about, trying desperately not to let the short blonde see, though he wasn’t succeeding, “it’s not _finished_.” He whined.

“Of course not.” Remus didn’t even try to hide his smirk.

“It’s not!”

“What’s it of?”

“Hogwarts.” Sirius perked up, face glowing with excitement. When Peter and Remus looked at him as if he was mad, he gasped, clutched his heart as if it were stabbed, and widening his eyes in mock panic,

“What’s happened to them Jamesie-“

“ _Don’t call me that!”_

“-Their brains have shriveled and lost all marauder value!” and Sirius proceeded to grab Peter’s face with both his hands and squash it together, screaming franticly at him, “CAN YOU HEAR ME PETE-Y! DON’T GIVE IN, COME BACK TO ME!” and then Sirius pulled Peter to his chest and crushed him in a very tight embrace.

The nearest table, full of seventh year students cramming, glanced over and looked very befuddled.

“Wh’ff mjrffa Homzerts?” Peter’s voice was very muffled as he tried to wiggle his face away from Sirius’s chest.

Sirius grinned, “Bet you wished I had _boobies_ now,” And he let Peter go.

Remus reached out and pulled Sirius back to the couch, though he just popped back to his feet, arms spread and face blazing with giddy.

“Lads, don’t you see?” and then he hunched in himself, motioning for them to huddle close, “a _map_ of _Hogwarts_.”

“Yes, but why?”

James looked just as exasperated as Sirius, “Why? Why! _Because_ Peter, _we_ would be the ultimate rulers of this school!”

“A map seems a bit boring, honestly Prongs,” Remus was fairly sure where this was going, but it was always fun to play a bit dumb, just for the sake of irritating.

“Not just a map, but a map of the whole school and everything, _everyone_ in it!” Sirius was starting to drool , “we would be the only ones who knew _everything_! What everyone was doing, where they were, where they were going-”

“-Where everything is, how to get there, and how to get back.” James butted in, “just think, all the _pranks-”_

 _“-_ All the chaos!” Sirius was near tears now.

Peter had his star-struck amassment look in his eyes and was gawking openly at Sirius and James, “I-it’s _brilliant_!”

Sirius snorted, “No shit.”

“But how are we going to get _everything_ on the map?” Peter asked, glancing behind him as a few forth years walked a bit close, “We don’t know where everything is, I-I mean, we know where a lot is, more than most teachers but, the Prefect’s bathroom-”

“-Remus is a Prefect-”

“-oh, right, but still, how are we-”

“-Peter, there’s a reason invisibility cloaks were made-“

“-Pads, I don’t think figuring out the blueprints of Hogwarts is what invisibility cl-”

“-Silence, wolf! Messer Black knows all.”

There was a moment of long silence that seemed to vibrate with James and Sirius’s joy.

“When do we start?” Remus muttered, pulling out a new parchment with a concealed grin.

____

_Hogwarts, December 2 nd, 1975_

His feet were freezing. There was an easy remedy to that, but he didn’t feel like climbing up the staircase to bed. He wanted to be alone, truly alone, where no one could wake up and see the worry in his eyes. Or the way he shook, Sirius frowned, watching the letter in his hand quiver. He had honestly thought his Mother had been exaggerating. He felt numb with uncertainly and loneliness sat at the bottom of his stomach. His heart hurt.

His Father had died.

Anyone else in Gryffindor would know their symptoms would be of grief for the loss of a parent. But not Sirius, he knew why his chest hurt and sleep escaped him. It was his Mother, or rather the fear of what was to come now that she had full control of the Black family household. One thing that Sirius was sure of, she wouldn’t go running to Voldemort and sign them all up as death eaters. No, what she wanted was perhaps a worse fate then that, at least for Sirius and in the long run, Regulus. Sirius more than ever didn’t want to return home for the holidays, not this year. He feared what was waiting for him, how deep his Mother had sank into the pits of dark magic, the monsters and secrets of the Black family.

Sirius cursed the stinging in his eyes and sighed into his knees.

 “Pads? What are you doing? It’s three in the _morning_.” Sirius jumped. After the initial shock of being snuck up on he lifted his head and glanced over his shoulder as James came trudging over to the fireplace and fell down onto the couch with a quiet ‘oof’.

“What are _you_ doing up? Trying to get into Evan’s room?”

James grinned and rubbed his brown eyes tiredly, “Maybe,”

Sirius snorted and rested his chin back on his knees, hugging his legs tighter to him.

“You should tell him,” James said after a while, the fire crackling in front of them.

“What?”

“You should just tell Moony.”

“…I don’t know what you’re referring too good sir.”

James sighed, “oh please, you think I wouldn’t notice you pinning after Moony?”

“…I don’t _pine_.”

“We’re best mates, Pads. Of course I would notice, especially after you told me how much of a poof you are.”

Sirius wrinkled up his nose, “I still like girls.”

“Ok, so you’re bi, whatever. I’m just saying it was pretty easy to figure out that it’s Moony you’re swooning over.”

 Sirius didn’t respond. He just stared at James with the most vulnerable expression on his face. It made James feel guilty and unsure if Sirius would burst into tears or not. Eventually Sirius let out a miserably sad sigh and turned his gaze to the fire.

James was right of course, this attraction to Remus was just adding onto the weight of his mind, though it was constantly pushed back behind his family’s drama.

The truth was, Sirius thought Remus had the most gorgeous eyes. He thought every scar on his body deemed him a better man than most men could ever dream of becoming and despite his unwillingness to get involved in confrontation, Remus was kind and gentle and strong and knew what to say. He was fun, smart, and had a wicked sense of humor that Sirius didn’t find in anyone else. Plus, he always had chocolate. Remus was everything he wasn’t.

The truth was that Sirius Black was in love with Remus Lupin and Sirius had never been in love before. He hated it. It made him miserable and angry and hate that he wanted him so bad. Sirius Black knew what friendship was and he certainly knew what lust was.

But he didn’t know what love was, he had no idea. He had no _right._

He loved Remus Lupin, wolf and human, but Remus would never love Sirius because he was a Black and Blacks were dark wizards who lived a lonely life of fake bonds with family that were really only kept together by greed and fear and dark magic.

The truth was Sirius didn’t want to be in love because he wasn’t so sure there really was such a thing as being loved in return.

The letter in his hand seemed to burn and he let it flutter to the floor. The fire glistened in Sirius’s wet eyes and James’s presence was strong.

“Prongs, let’s go raid the kitchens.”

And they did.

With the echo of the portal shutting, Remus Lupin stepped down from the shadows of the stairway, something of disbelief on his face. He trudged over to the couch and picked up Sirius’s letter. It felt heavy with burden and Remus didn’t even think twice about honoring Sirius’s privacy.

When James and Sirius got back, Remus lay awake, staring at Sirius’s shivering form through his currants, the letter clenched in his hand.

____

_Hogwarts, December 15 th, 1975_

Sirius declared the epic snowball battle between Gryffindor and Ravenclaw had given him the idea for the map. Something about strategies and knowing what you’re getting into before you jump, which seemed all too logical to be Sirius Black talking. Sirius seemed to be making the full effort though. He, apparently, woke before dawn and had snatched James’s cloak before inspecting the _entire_ Gryffindor tower before breakfast had started and was now down in the great hall, scribbling away on some parchment with a large plate of bacon in front of him. His hair falling around his face and shoulders, dark circles under his eyes that made him look mad and clothes obviously put on the wrong way.

James and Remus found the sight to be amusing.

“Padfoot,” Remus mused, sitting down across from Sirius, “if you continually eat bacon and _only_ bacon for breakfast you will turn into bacon.”

“Moony, if you continue to use the word bacon at such high levels, I will be forced to turn _you_ into bacon.”

Jams groaned, sitting next to Sirius and looking distastefully at all the food on the table, “Lads, can we _please_ stop saying bacon; I think Peter grabbed some expired food from the kitchens last night.”

Remus chuckled quietly and handed James his buttered slice of toast, “this is why Wormtail isn’t allowed to go on kitchen raids alone. Remember last year’s ham incident, Prongs?”

James paled, “ham is the same thing as bacon Moony.”

Remus chuckled and Sirius waved a particularly fat infested piece of bacon in James’s face before munching on it loudly.

“Hey, guys, oh – _bacon_!” Peter looked a bit too happy as he too started to pile up on the meet strips, just as Sirius had.

“Peter, mate! I’m so glad you agree,” Sirius leaned close to James, “isn’t- _bacon_ -the best!” he drew out the vowels in ‘bacon’ and giggled with self-satisfaction as James went even paler, and a bit green.

Peter, who usually never got a chance to openly mock James, probably because Sirius always beat him to the punch, smirked at Sirius, catching his eye knowingly.

“Prongs, doesn’t your mum make bacon every Sunday. I wish my mum would make _bacon_ …actually, I wish my mum could cook.”

“She does, Wormtail, every Sunday. Lots and _lots_ of bacon, with TONS of fat that sizzles just-”

But James stood just as quickly as he sat and turned around just in time before he puked all over a group of Slytherin girls, who just happened to include Narcissa Black. Remus wrinkled his nose and glanced away while Peter and Sirius cracked up; ignoring the shrieks and the murderous look Narcissa was giving them.

“Sirius!” She shrieked, “you’d do well to your mother’s advice!” and stomped away.

A moment of disgust crossed Sirius’s face, making him look sullen, but it passed in seconds as James moaned in discomfort.

“Good job Prongs!” Sirius declared before standing and helped his sickly best mate limp and groan to the medical wing.

“James isn’t the only one _that_ affects,” Remus muttered, making a point not to breathe in through his nose.

Peter eyes flickered with fear, he waved his wand, the vomit disappearing, “right sorry. This weekend right?”

Remus frowned, “yes…this weekend.” He stared after James and Sirius.

James was feeling better within the hour and he dragged them all back up to their room, despite the crisp air and sunshine, making it slightly less chilly outside, though the glare off the snow was unbearable.

“Alright, I’ve got it all worked out,” James bounced onto Sirius’s bed, which occupied Sirius as well, muttering over the parchment he had been scribbling on at breakfast, “Every night we can, we’re exploring, as much as we can a night, even places we _know_. We need to make sure we get everything.”

“Right, and what about getting everyone to show up on the map, no matter what?”

“-And new people as well. What good would the map do if we have to keep fixing it every time a new wave of first years come?”

“-Or new teachers-”

“-Right! Brilliant, Pete-y, new teachers. Ha!”

“That will take a bit of work, runes, symbols, advanced charms and such, Sirius and I will work on those-”

“-Argh, _Moony_ -I hate runes work-”

“-Yes, Pads, I know, but you’re brilliant at them and don’t interrupt, it’s rude. James, I think the transfiguration work and holding charms-long lasting ones, will be best left up to you and Peter.”

“Great!” Sirius sat up, “let’s start causing trouble.”

“No,” Remus shook his head firmly, “not yet, we need to do some research.”

“Argh!” Sirius fell back onto the bed.

Research meant the library. And that would have to wait till after the holidays.

____

_Grimmauld place, December 22 nd, 1975_

There was no amount of Christmas cheer at the Black household, not that there ever was much in years before hand. Their Mother, for the most part just sat in their Father’s office, muttering through her silent tears. Regulus was worried she had cracked, lost her mind. Sirius on the other hand knew it was just the opposite. She was planning, figuring things out to her advantage. That’s why she was in the study, shifting through her husband’s stuff.  She was looking for something.

“I’m worried about Mum.” Regulus stated for the third time, taking the warm plate from Kreacher.

Sirius snorted, “don’t be.”

“She’s clearly not well, Father’s death seemed to have a bigger affect over her then I thought.”

Sirius sneered into his breakfast. Regulus didn’t know what he was talking about. He didn’t know what he was dealing with. Not perfect little Regulus, who did nothing wrong in his parent’s eyes. It made him vulnerable, blind to what their Mother really was.

“She’s fine, just don’t bother her.” It was all that he could think to say. Maybe, if they just left her to herself, the holidays could go by without any damage.

Regulus seemed to have taken Sirius’s advice for once, up until that evening. He had been sitting with Sirius in the bloodline room when he abruptly stood and rushed out the room. Sirius rolled his eyes and finished charming his Father’s picture to write deceased under his name. He was just finishing up when it happened, an explosion and then a loud thud. His Mother’s shriek echoed throughout the large house. He rushed to see what had happened.

Regulus lay on the floor in front of the stairway to his father’s potion’s room. He was writhing in pain, blisters erupting all over his skin. His Mother was shouting.

“Stupid boy! You could have ruined everything! Your Fathers potions!” she was holding a bottle of black liquid in her hand, “if I catch you down there again you little brat! Stealing, from your own Father!”

Sirius wasn’t exactly sure what happened, but he was sure that Regulus didn’t deserve what he was about to get. There was no way Regulus had wanted to ‘steal’ Father’s potions, or even touch them. He had probably gone down to look for their Mother. But of course, one of the biggest rules in the black household was not to go into their Father’s rooms. Regulus curled up on the floor, muttering into his arms. Their Mother grabbed him and popped open the top of the bottle,

“This will teach you,” and she tried to force Regulus to drink the potion.

A spark of anger erupted in Sirius’s chest. He and Regulus didn’t get along anymore, but he was still his little brother. And before he could think about what he was doing, he grabbed his Mother’s wrist and pulled her away from Regulus. She shouted and slapped Sirius. Without even thinking, Sirius drew his wand and shouted the first thing that came to his mind,

“Expellisumus!”

He knew he was dead the moment the words left his lips. His mother went flying back into the wall and there was a long tense silence.

“You,” his Mother stood shakily, anger blazing in her voice, “you _dare_ attack me child.”

Sirius glared back at her, hiding his fear well, “you were hurting Regulus! He didn’t do anyth-”

“Shut up! Just shut up!” and she whipped out her wand so fast that Sirius didn’t even have time to duck or run.

Her silent spell hit him square in the chest and a numbing cold exploded all over him. His knees gave out and he fell to the floor, catching himself on his hands. His vision was blurry.

“Your father put up with your stupidity Sirius, but I will not. And I will not having you two disobeying my _orders_!” ropes shot out of her wand and wound themselves around Sirius, “This little event has made me see that I let him be far to gentle on you.”

“Gentle!” Sirius grunted, struggling, “you’ve got to be bloody joking! You’re mad, both of you! It’s good that he’s dead, now you just need to go along and do the same!”

Sirius didn’t care, he just didn’t care anymore. It was wrong what she was doing, wrong what she had done. This wasn’t a family and Sirius wasn’t going to let Regulus end up the way every other Black did.

The fury in his Mother left her body. Instead, her eyes became cold and unfeeling. She stood over his struggling form, glaring down.

“You wish your own Mother to die, Sirius?” she knelt, a fake smile on her face, “my dear, baby Sirius,” she grabbed his jaw and forced it open; “didn’t your father tell you? Respect is the most important thing to have in this family,” she poured the black potion down his throat, “and I can see that I have neglected your misbehavior for far too long,” pain burst in his throat and everything got dark and it was hard to hear, “now I know you are just angry, and you didn’t mean those things. But just to make sure that you didn’t, I think a little punishment is in order.” and she grabbed his shirt collar and dragged him down the stairs. He heard Regulus call after him before he black out.

_____  
_

_Hogwarts, January 4th, 1976_

Sirius woke in the silence of the dorm, this body throbbing in pain. Just being back at Hogwarts, even for the short few hours that they had arrived, eased his mind. But it didn’t easy his pain. He didn’t remember most of the holiday, it was a blur of darkness and pain and the cold. Blinking back the throbbing in his head, Sirius sat up, he needed a shower. Stumbling into the shower, Sirius hissed as hot water spread over his cuts and he inspected just how bad the damage was. It certainly wasn’t as bad as the time he had locked Regulus out of the house during a snow blizzard when he was younger, he had been on bed rest for a week, numb with a curse filled fever.

He counted eight slashes, two on his arms, and two on his right thigh and the rest on his back. They were thin and long and stung. There were sore looking bruises around his neck (and wrists), thanks to the ropes around them to keep his head still so Mother could give him a hallucinating potion. He stared at himself for a bit, mind blank. He shivered under the hot spray, he _couldn’t_ get warm. He washed as best as he could without irritating the cuts before stumbling back into the dorm room. The other three had gotten up and the dorm was empty. Sirius shook as he looked around for his clothing. He could feel the pull of the cuts, which still hadn’t healed. He frowned and watched the slow oozing of blood from one of them.

“They must be cursed,” he muttered to himself, slipping on underwear, searching for his muggle jeans when the door burst open.

“Pads, you great git, you just missed the best- _fuck!”_ James stopped midway into the room, eyes wide behind his thick frames.

Sirius froze and his shivering was very visible.

“Pads-wha, I mean, who, I- _fuck_ your bleedin’ good.” And James shot over to him, steering him to sit and started inspecting the red and swollen looking wounds.

 Sirius blinked a bit bewilder-y at James before swatting his hands away after he caused a hiss.

“I’m good Prongs, they’ll heal.”

James crossed his arms. That was a lie; Sirius was always lying about this. He had seen wounds on him more than once, he knew where they came from despite his stuttering earlier. Sirius had more than once visited over the summer with cuts and bruises like the ones he had now. But his shivering was new.

“Hells, Pads, she’s still doing this shit?” he kept staring at his arm, “Merlin, they look cursed.”

“They’re not. I’m fine. Come on, we’ll be late.” And Sirius stood, determined to ignore the aching and the red spots in front of his eyes.

Sirius also knew that James was well aware of what his Mother’s methods were and he knew his best mate would be at his side constantly, hovering until Sirius proved that he wasn’t going to collapse at any given moment. After a particular long transfiguration class, Sirius found that harder to prove wrong then he thought. He had darted to the first bathroom to inspect his wounds and cast simple healing spells to last him through classes. The cuts only resurfaced after the spell wore off though, stinging white hot and looking just as fresh. The coldness he felt all over never went away. He would have to go to Madam Pomfrey if he wanted them healed right away. Sirius huffed at his reflection. When Remus’s annoyed tone drifted through the doorway he quickly buttoned up his shirt and yanked his school robes closed. He would have to wait until the end of the school day for that.

Defense against the dark arts proved to be a challenge for Sirius not to fall over, more so then his other classes. By the middle of class James was so concerned he was hovering far too closely and he kept _touching_ the small of his back to stabilize him. Remus and Peter kept giving them weird looks and even Evans seemed a bit put off when James didn’t even give her any attention. It was at the end of class, when Peter and Sirius finished the last dueling lesson (that Peter lost miserably), that Sirius decided he probably _shouldn’t_ wait till the end of the day. Sirius held back as the rest of the class headed for the door, wanting it to clear out a bit. Unfortunately, Remus was consumed in the mass as well, speaking with Evans and he knocked into Sirius while he was trying to avoid pushing everyone else. Sirius hissed so loudly that Remus dropped his book bag and half the class turned around to see what had happened.

James caught Sirius when he stumbled sideways, leaning on a desk to keep him up.

“Moony!” James gritted out and he dragged Sirius out of the classroom, feeling all of Gryffindor staring after them.

Remus blinked after them and turned to look at Peter, who shrugged.

_

“Ok, what’s going on?” Remus stood, arms crossed, staring down at James. He sat stiffly, surrounded by books, at the farthest table from the entrance in the library. He scrunched up his nose, he kept smelling copper.

James glanced up at him through his glasses and oddly, Remus was reminded of Dumbledore.

“Nothing.” It was a mutter which meant James was distracted and James was hardly _ever_ distracted by books.

“Bullshit Prongs, you’ve been hovering around Sirius all day and then bit my head off before rushing about and now you’re, of all things, _reading_. What has gotten into you?”

James stared at Remus for a few moments, clearly thinking whether Remus was worthy of a truthful answer before scratching his chin with his quill and, “Nothing.”

Remus huffed and was just about to bugger off when he spotted dark spots on James’s uniform sleeve. Remus frowned and leaned a bit over James, who didn’t really notice. The dark spots on James’s sleeve looked fresh and Remus frowned as the smell of copper got stronger.

Suddenly it clicked.

He’d been smelling _blood_ all day. Suddenly, he grabbed James’s shoulders, a bit roughly and James winced.

“You’re bleeding!” he whispered loudly.

James exhaled in a sort of impatient way and managed to pull from Remus’s grip, “nope, I’m good mate.”

“Then what’s with the stains, Prongs.”

“S’not mine.” It was back to mumbling.

“Not yours, I can- _Sirius_.”

James paused after he flipped through a page, “nope, I’m James.”

“No, the blood, its Sirius’s.”

James looked up at him calmly, “figure that out by yourself did you?”        

Remus picked up a book and hit James in the back of the head with it.

“Ow! Do you mind? I’m trying to find something.”

Remus, for the life of him, couldn’t figure out why James was being so casual about this. If Sirius was off bleeding somewhere, shouldn’t they _do_ something?

“ _Prongs_.”

James sighed and ran a hand through his messy hair, “fine, sit down and help me look for a way to heal cursed cuts.”

Remus sat down and kicked James’s shin, “why are you looking for that? This is why the school has a medical wing, so we, the _students_ , don’t have to do this.”

“Sirius doesn’t want to go to the medical wing.”

Remus sighed, “why not?”

James slammed the book and glared at Remus, “because, Moony, he doesn’t want to broadcast that his own Mother likes to lock up her sons and torture them.”

The silence was thick and Remus felt his heart sink a bit.

“We’re not going to find that in here.”

_

James couldn’t remember the last time he and Remus went sneaking about the school, just the two of them. Not that they were doing it for fun reasons, but still, running about while everyone else alseep was always awesome. This was a first though; they had never snuck into the medical wing before. James was still unsure that Remus knew what he was talking about when he had informed James that the real healing books were inside Madam Pomfrey’s office. But Sirius kept bleeding, and was back at their room, curled up on his bed, shaking so hard he couldn’t even hold a cup of water. Peter was forced to stay just in case their dark wizard friend went completely under and there was no choice but to get a teacher. Still, James doubted it would come to that, they created polyjuice potion their first year just because, figured out that Remus was a werewolf second year, became Animagus forth year, finding a healing charm for cursed wounds was by far the least challenging. 

“James, here” Remus nudged him to the right, trying not to move the cloak too much. It was beginning to get rather hard to fit just two of them under the cloak, seeing as they were all beginning to reach their full height.

The medical wing was empty, which was weird, there was always _someone_ in there; it was after all Hogwarts. They even got lucky and found that Madam Pomfrey was not in her office, leaving it open and invasive to wandering students. James pulled off the cloak and they set to work. There were only about a dozen books. James and Remus were through half of them when James bit his lip and asked a completely random and a bit embarrassing question,

“Do you like blokes?”

Remus paused and gave James a look of suspicion.

“Why, do you?”

“W-what! O-of course not.”

Remus smirked, “Pads, it’s Pads, you’ve gone nutters for him haven’t you?”

“No!”

“Right, denial, Prongs, denial.” Remus clicked his tongue and flipped a page.

“I haven’t!”

Remus shrugged, “it’s ok, he’s very pretty, prettier then Evans.”

James snorted, “He is _not._ ”

“No?” Remus looked thoughtful, casting his eyes to the ceiling and then, “Peter thinks he is.”

“I do not…really? Peter thinks Pads is pretty?”

Remus nodded, “very.”

James narrowed his eyes in suspicion, Remus was yanking him.

“No he doesn’t, Peter drools too much at Alice’s boobs.”

“Any case, I’ve found what we need.”

They then rushed back to their room and when they managed to feel confident enough they healed Sirius the right way, they let Sirius fall asleep, exhausted from the healing charm. They didn’t know how to stop his shivering though.

“It might just wear off,” Remus muttered, pulled sheets over Sirius.

 When James crawled into his own bed he realized that Remus never answered his question. He lay under the covers and blushed, hoping Remus didn’t think he was queer. At two in the morning, James woke for a bathroom run and when he snuck back in, Remus was sitting on Sirius’s bed, the curtains pushed back. He was leaning over Sirius, who was still asleep, and James held very still as Remus brushed back Sirius’s long hair, tucking it behind his ear and stroked the high point of his cheek bone with his knuckles.

He snuck back to his bed without Remus even noticing him.

____

_Hogwarts, January 19 th 1976_

It dawned on them that O.W.L.S was at the end of the year, which suddenly seemed much shorter away, to Remus at least. The lucky break in weather was no longer around and rain poured consistently in a thick grey sheet since dawn. The result, Gryffindor’s common room was packed. The great hall was much too distracting for most to study and few wanted to study in the library, seeing as it was just an endless depressant of books on top of books. It was noon and no one had broken away for lunch yet. Lucky for Remus he had gotten up at the crack of dawn and hauled his books down to curl up on the comfy couch by the fireplace and study for an hour before running off to Defense against the dark arts with the rest of the Gryffindor fifth years. He had also been the first one back from class and reclaimed his spot on the couch, extending the ‘dibs’ on the chair across and the floor area around the coffee table for James, Sirius, and Peter.

That had been two hours ago and the common room was now packed with fifth years staring at books and parchments and if it wasn’t fifth years it was seventh years for their N.E.W.T.S . The younger students felt quite frightened when a zombie faced Gryffindor looked up from his or her book, still, it didn’t keep them from hanging out in the common room.

Sirius sighed for the tenth time from his spot on the floor, which was in front of Remus’s spot on the couch, just the way it always was.

“Pads, if you’re that bored, then go, mate, go raid the kitchens, prank a Slytherin, jump in the lake, I don’t care, just stop bloody _sighing_.” James snipped, running a hand through his messy hair in frustration.

Sirius pouted but didn’t sigh. He did however glance around him curiously for about ten minutes before Remus thought he was going to let out a whine as if he were Padfoot at the moment. He didn’t though and he didn’t get up to be mischievous nor did he go back to studying. Instead, he fished out his wand, waved it around in two tight circles before flicking it and mumbling something under his breath.

Remus sat very still, waiting to see just what the handsome teen had done.

In a second, a muggle record player popped into the common room and landed with a soft thump on top of Sirius’s charms book. Remus frowned, that record player looked awfully familiar…

“Pads! That’s my mother’s record player!”

Indeed it was.

“Why, indeed it is Moony, darling.”

A moment later three records popped into the room and floated in front of Sirius as he stared intently at them, deciding which one to play.

“Black!”

Half the common room glanced up in annoyance at the corner, though they lost interest in what Sirius Black was doing immediately, because well, he was _always_ doing something and it usually did not end well for other students. Remus couldn’t believe Sirius remembered his Mother’s record player, let alone _stole_ it. The dark wizard had only been to his house once, in second year. It was hard to believe that Sirius could even remember what a record was.

“Pads, are you daft? Give them back!”

“What do you think, Prongs?” Ignoring Remus, Sirius flicked his wand and the albums spun around to stare James in face.

“What is it?” Peter inquired.

“It’s called a _record_.”

James didn’t look impressed and Peter looked a bit put off, as if the records would shoot out of their paper cases and start decapitating everyone.

“What’s a record?”

Remus sighed, though still slightly panicking inside. His mother loved her records and her record player. He would most certainly be getting a howler from his father if Sirius didn’t return them safely and soon. He was surprised she hadn’t notice it missing, especially since it had been missing for three years, if that was when Sirius stole it.

“It’s music Wormtail,” Remus answered.

“Music.” He repeated it as if he didn’t really understand.

“Yes, fuck-tastic music, better than anything in the wizarding world. If there’s one thing wizards can’t do it’s make good music.” Flitwick would have a fit if he heard Sirius say that, he was known for enjoying most of the wizarding world’s musicians.

“Sirius just put them-”

“The Beatles?” Peter had grabbed a record and was looking rather confused, “why would anyone want to listen to beetles singing?”

Sirius sighed, exasperated, “it’s just a name, they’re not really beetles. They’re a _band.”_

“Not anymore they’re not.”

Sirius gasped and spun around with a sickening bone crack to look at Remus with a heart wrenching look on his face. “They broke up?”

Remus didn’t know Sirius was into muggle music. Sure he had loads of muggle clothing that suggested otherwise, but Remus just thought that Sirius did that to annoy his Mother and didn’t really know what he was buying.

“Broke up…” Peter looked like he was already taking his O.W.L.S, “were they all dating each other? That’s…creepy.”

Sirius choose to ignore all of them and popped the other two records back to their room and slipped the Beatles album out and placed it on the record player, mumbling to himself before music suddenly blared from every corner of the room. Now the whole common room was confused, irritated, and looking around for who was disturbing the peace. Not that a room full of angry Gryffindor’s ever had an effect on Sirius, they would just have to suffer. And suffer they did, for the _whole_ day.

Bedtime brought around Remus’s surprise when he find out that Sirius hadn’t just stolen his Mother’s music player and a few of her records, but that he had stolen them during the summer, _last summer_ , and not three years before. Remus didn’t even remember Sirius coming over last summer. Since most of Gryffindor’s students had ended up enjoying the music, there was no doubt Sirius would be blasting not only the Beatles, but whatever other records he had laying around their room which included Led Zeppelin, Simon and Garfunkel, Bob Dylan, The Rolling Stones, and Queen.

After all, they still had till the end of the year until O.W.L.S and Sirius was now determined to get every single person who was in that common room to sing Bohemian Rhapsody at once, even if half of them didn’t understand a muggle word. The only way to do that was repetition, which meant hearing Bohemian Rhapsody many, many, _many_ times in the very near future.

Remus hoped he didn’t start hating Queen after this.

As it turned out, Sirius had no trouble getting nearly _everyone_ in the common room during a particular busy study evening, to burst out singing Bohemian Rhapsody, _without_ the song playing. Apparently Sirius had started a bit of an obsession and the next day resulted in, of all people, _Lily_ to start humming the song in the middle of potions, which began a chain reaction and had the Gryffindor’s singing the whole thing, loudly, frightening the Slytherins for (probably) weeks to come.

Sirius had nearly wet himself with pride and the slightly battered record player was now out and playing almost every night in the common room, seeing as the obsession was only growing and spreading. He was even getting requests now, which he happily took.

“Sirius, what are you doing?”

Sirius had been sitting still for more than thirty minutes now and that was never a good sign, _ever_.

“ ‘M working….”

Remus couldn’t decide if he wanted to know just what Sirius was working on. It took him a full five seconds, staring blankly at the side of Sirius’s head, before he put his quill down.

“Working on what?”

There was a long silence in which the vocals and wailing guitar of Led Zeppelin filled.

“…you’ll see.” And Sirius shot him a cheeky grin before hovering back over his parchment.

And see Remus did, as did the rest of the school at breakfast the next morning. Sirius had already been up and waiting for them, grinning to himself as he shoved another butter coated toast slice in his mouth.

“Mornin’ lads!”

Peter looked a bit skeptical and sat opposite of Sirius, “What’s got you so cheery?”

Sirius beamed at him and Peter actually flinched in slight fear, “Nothing! Here, wolfie.” Sirius handed Remus a plate full of sausages, bacon and eggs, though he got a stern glare from Remus for the pet-name.

Nothing indeed. He kept glancing at the Slytherin table, particularly Snape, and the space that was filled by Lucius Malfoy, his cousin Narcissa, and now Regulus.

At Eight on the dot, a loud bursting, musical tone erupted from the Slytherin table.

Sirius somehow had managed to charm everything that a Slytherin touched to jump to life, grow a mouth and start bellowing ‘You’re My Best Friend’ by Queen.

Remus snorted pumpkin juice out of his nose as a few Slytherin’s jumped up and ran into the corridor, the glasses, plates, book bags, and other personal items bouncing happily in the air after them.

James stared blankly at Sirius who just smiled and shrugged before grabbing his book bag and jumping up from the table.

“I blame you, Lupin.”

Remus smiled, holding back a laugh as a first year Slytherin Girl’s bright pink sweater flew up and wrapped itself around Snape, singing very loudly.

“Whatever for, my dear Prongs.”

“You realize how annoying this will get.”

Of course Remus did, but still, it was rather amusing.

James Potter however, was proven wrong, seeing that Sirius had put more thought into the charm than just replication. Apparently, depending on what was touched, a different song would burst from the object and float impeccably close to the deserving Slytherin. It also wasn’t everything they touched, which resulted in twitchy Slytherins who were scared to touch anything and anyone. Sirius of course hadn’t charmed people to burst into song when a Slytherin touched them, but many Gryffindors and a few Ravenclaws choose to do so anyway, sometimes even throwing themselves at said Slytherin for a nasty, love filled hug, all the while singing at the top of their lungs.

Sirius nearly knocked his head on the wall from laughing after jumping out of the way as Andromeda chased Lucius Malfoy through the hall screaming, “”Lonely days, lonely nights, where would I be without my woman!?” (“Sirius, how does Andromeda know about the Bee Gees?”) She seemed to be the only Slytherin enjoying the musical object fiasco.

As much as Gryffindor’s loved to see Slytherin’s get what was coming to them and generally held looks of disgust and anger for the house, sometimes it was just plan awesome to mess with their heads. And there was _no_ better way to mess with their heads than be overly friendly, to a frightening level. By lunch time, nearly every student in Slytherin had been attacked by a singing object, most of which sang a muggle tune. In one particular case during the second class of potions, Snape knocked over his cauldron, which then let out a wail and started to weep ‘Bridge over Troubled water.’

Remus was surprised that Sirius had yet to be dragged off by McGonagall for suspicion; though she looked like she had rather enjoyed seeing Slughorn yelp when his trousers sang the chorus of ‘Satisfaction’ over and over for the last half of breakfast that morning.

At lunch, Peter happily plopped down next to James, who was stuffing himself with potatoes, “Good day, mates, good day. Did ya see, Avery knocked into McGonagall and her robes started singing something called, ‘whole lotta love.’ He’s got detention for weeks I bet,” Peter had a great grin on his face seeing as he was usually terrified of most Syltherin’s. It probably also had something to do with Regulus getting a nice long chorus of ‘don’t fear the reaper, ’ after knocking into a knight suit near the Ravenclaw house entrance.

Sirius chuckled, “See, not as stupid as it seemed.”

“Especially considering that every time one of the stupid gits touches something they get a detention.” James as it seemed had deemed this prank worthy and not annoying as he had declared that morning.

“Aaaand, _we_ haven’t been found out, yet, so no detention for us.”

“ _We?_ ” Remus shook his fork at Sirius, “this is all _you_.”

“Alright, no detention for Messer Black then.”

____

_Shrieking Shack January 23 rd, 1976_

Padfoot bounded down the narrow passage way, barking madly and loudly. Behind him Prongs and Wormtail followed with a slight air of annoyance about them. They had been a little late getting out to the shack this month and Moony would be pacing impatiently by the door. They closer they got they could hear the wolf’s lonely howls for his pack. Padfoot yelped in joy when they reached the door and Moony’s giant paws were scratching at the floor.

Wormtail squeaked his way down to the floor and scuttled up to the door handle. It rocked open and Padfoot barged into the room, barking like mad. Moony barked back and the two jumped around each other pawing playfully.

Prongs clicked his front hoof on the floor, demanding their attention. If they were going to go running through the high hills at hogsmeade they had to leave soon. They only had a few hours.

The sky was very clear and the moon seemed extra bright. It was no problem spotting Moony’s reddish  amber coat. Prongs was glad for that, they already had lost track of him on the nights that were cloudy. The group quickly traveled over the frozen ground, Moony had a one track mind tonight and he wasn’t slowing down for anything. There was a spot just a little ways into the forest by hogsmeade that seemed to be a place for snow rabbits to gather, and moony had really wanted to play with them last month.

As they got close to the village, Moony slowed down a bit, getting a whiff of humans nearby. Padfoot had to keep nipping at his feet to keep in going in the other direction. Once they got the young werewolf into the forest though it wasn’t a problem keeping him there. He went straight for the clearing and started whining when he couldn’t dig into the frozen ground. Padfoot gave a laugh like bark and smacked Prongs in the leg.

Prongs glared at the black dog, but stepped forward and stomped his hoofs into the ground to give Moony a head start, clearing up some of the frozen soil. It took only a minute to find the first bunny. After that a slaughter party. At least twenty rabbits lay around the clearing, their blood very bright in the moon and against their white fur. Prongs and Wormtail look on with apprehension and slight disgust. Padfoot ran about with Moony, catching a few, but not killing them, he couldn’t kill them, not like Moony. But he also didn’t have a sickening need to murder and Padfoot didn’t blame the human or the wolf.

They headed back to the shack a little earlier, Moony covered in rabbit blood and they needed to get him somewhat clean otherwise Madam Pomfrey would get suspicious. Padfoot kept Moony from tearing himself apart in the shack while Wormtail and Prongs went looking for water, a small bucket hanging off one of Prongs’s premature antlers. The sun was rising when they got back and they found Remus laying on the floor, half conscious, Sirius peering over him, wiping blood off his hands and face with his robes.

“Oh good,” Sirius muttered, “you’re back.” And took the bucket of water. He quickly finished wiping off blood and threw the water out in the snow.

James and Peter were already by the door, cloak over their shoulders, “come on Sirius, we gotta go!”

Sirius nodded. He knelt next to Remus and pushed his blood crusted hair out of his face. Remus smiled weakly up at him, quickly squishing his nose, “why do I taste blood?” he slurred.

Sirius chuckled, “you got a hold of some rabbits, don’t worry, nothing else.” He whispered and patted Remus on the shoulder.

“Sirius!” James urged, he could hear footsteps.

With one last touch, Sirius stood and knelt low so the three of them could fit. The cloak barely covered them and just as they crossed the shack, the door opened and Madam Pomfrey came bustling in. She hurried Remus along , knowing that she had to get him in the hospital wing before students started to wake. When the two of them left, Sirius uncovered them.

“Well,” James said, I don’t think I’m going to be able to look at rabbits for weeks.”

Sirius snickered, “it wasn’t that bad.”

Peter scrunched up his nose, “maybe not for you, but I’m a rodent. That’s pretty distressing to see.”

“Oh come on sqeamies, I wanna visit Remus before we have class.”

And they did.

____

_Hogwarts, January 29th, 1976_

 

“Oh, Merlin, I can’t take this anymore.”

Sirius wasn’t the only one, Peter had long ago fallen asleep and James was transfiguring stray papers into snitches and charming them to buzz past people’s ears to annoy them.  Even Remus seemed a bit dim.

“Padfoot, pass me that book.”

Sirius frowned, Remus pointed in the general direction to his left, at a stack of books, how was he to know which one he wanted. Shrugging after a moment of struggling which one to hand over, Sirius flicked his wand, lifting the whole stack, floating it over Remus’s head and thud!

“Sirius!”

“Shhhh!”

“Oh come on, Moony. Can’t we actually get _started!”_

Remus glared at Sirius but took note of the three exasperated boys before giving a small huff of defeat.

“Well, alright. I guess we have enough to get started,-”

“-Great!-”

“-BUT, you and I, Sirius, will have to come back and do more research for other areas of the school that we haven’t covered yet.”

Sirius deflated and fell lifelessly over the back of his chair, whining so loudly that students were poking their heads around the bookshelves.

“Moonnnny, don’t you realize that I am brilliant and therefore, do not have a need to _research_.”

Remus looked a bit thoughtfully at Sirius for a moment before snapping the book he was taking notes on closed and stood bounce-fully,

“Pads, the day you become brilliant is the day we all die a miserable death.”

Sirius ignored the snickering from James and rushed after Remus.

“So, are we really going to come back to the library today?”

“No-”

“-oh, thank Merlin-”

“-tomorrow, so we don’t get interrupted by classes.”

Sirius honestly didn’t see how researching the school would help them more than exploring it, though they’d pretty much explored it all already. Still, what could be better than actually experiencing? Finding out about how many rooms are _thought_ to be in Hogwarts doesn’t do anything to help the map, finding all the rooms would though.

“But _tomorrow_ would be better spent exploring!”

Remus shifted his shoulder bag, wincing as he did so; his shoulder was still aching from the full moon. Sirius being immensely in tune with Remus’s full moon acquired injuries, walked up to Remus’s other side, stealing his shoulder bag effortlessly. Remus had always made a big deal about them babying him after a full moon so Sirius chuckled darkly and took off down the hallway, Remus’s book bag flying behind him and away from its owner. The trick was to make Remus think he was being played with.

“Sirius!”  Normally, Remus would have no problem catching up with Sirius, one of the few advantages of being a werewolf, higher stamina and strength. But as it were, he was still feeling weak from his transformation and couldn’t hope to catch up to the ever bounding energy that was Sirius Black. Not that it stopped him from trying. He knew he wouldn’t be able to catch Sirius, but run after him he did anyway.

Sirius led Remus on a chase through the castle and back to the Gryffindor tower and up the staircase,  where Remus thought he would actually catch up to Sirius, and into their dormitory.  Upon entering their room, Sirius let out a happy, exhausted whoop before flinging Remus’s book bag onto the werewolf’s bed and then collapsing giddily onto his own. Remus burst in seconds later, heaving in breaths,

“Well, you’re trapped now, coming up to th-”

But Sirius raised his arm in the air and waved a hand toward Remus’s bed, “-I give,-books –over- there- so tired.” He panted and let the dead weight of his arm fall back onto the mattress.

Remus was just about to mock Sirius for giving up when it dawned on. Why would Sirius grab his things and then trap himself in their dorm? The one place they were heading anyway? Huffing, Remus flopped down next to Sirius, but he couldn’t be angry with the dark-haired wizard, not after what Sirius had been through the past couple of weeks. Even if he tried, no anger or even annoyance came. So instead, Remus slapped Sirius’s chest good natured with the full force of love behind it and said,

“Thank you.”

Sirius turned his head sideways on the mattress. His eyes sparkled with honesty and love and caring, Remus hardly ever saw that look in Sirius eyes. He hardly ever saw Sirius without the mask of mischief in place. When he took it off, it was always a surprise. It was easy to forget how kind Sirius could be. It was warm in the dormitory, despite the cold weather outside and the warmth spread around them in a comfortable blanket. Sirius touched Remus’s hand on his chest, following the pathway of his palm with his pointer finger and smiled, “those books are heavy, Moony.”

“Are they? Maybe you’re just weak.”

And the moment went from harmony to chaos as Sirius growled playfully, transforming to Padfoot in seconds and chased Remus around the dorm room twice before bounding after him out the door and down the stairs, transforming back before they reached the common room. Transforming never stopped Sirius for a second and the two of them tumbled down the stairs and into the common room, spooking a few third years and Lily Evans as they ran past, shouting at each other.

Sirius let Remus keep the lead, it was good to see him smile and it was good to run, it calmed him. While he would have to settle for running in the hallways for now, what he wanted most was to run outside on the fields of grass in the summer winds and sun.

It seemed as if Remus was leading them back to the library, and Sirius wasn’t about to allow that. He picked up his pace and grabbed Remus’s wrist, yanking him back into himself, causing both of them to smash together and come to a halt. Before they could fall over from lack of balance, the hallways swarmed with students as the last classes of the evening let out. The sea of witches and wizards knocked them about, allowing them to regain their balance, laughing and hanging onto one another as they did so.

“Son of a-” Sirius heaved, smiling, even as a few Slytherins knocked him into Remus.

“Well, now that we’re out here…”

Sirius’s eyes lit up with hope or at least, that’s what Remus told himself it was, honestly it was a bit frightening, the look in Sirius’s eyes whenever he was _allowed_ to do mischief.

“Come Moony,” he grabbed hold of his wrist and tugged, fighting his way through the river of students, “the school will yet be ours!”

Remus can’t help but laugh, even as they knocked over a few people, because Sirius said the school will be theirs, _theirs._ Not Sirius and James’s, not Peter’s, not the marauder’s, just him and Sirius, _theirs._

_____  
_

_Hogwarts February 5 th, 1976_

“Moooony! Come on, let’s go. We only have twelve hours!”

Remus glared at the books he was rummaging through, looking for extra parchment to scribble notes on. Sirius had been whining and bouncing on his bed for the past ten minutes. It was well past seven, curfew for most Gryffindors to be inside the tower. Many students had yet to go to bed and they would have to sneak out carefully. Granted, Remus could always just pull his Prefect rank, the Prefect bathrooms were not off limits past curfew. But of course, Remus did not want to go that route; he would be caring extra items about with him all night. After all, if one didn’t keep up with appearances then the lie was easily seen through.

“Yes, yes Pads, hold on.”

But when he finally stuffed an extra quill and parchment into his school robes pocket, he looked up and Sirius was gone. On the bed though, sat the weight of one teenage boy and Remus smirked.

“Oh, damn,” Remus twisted around a bit, looking very confused, trying his best to hide a smile, “I seem to have been too slow and Pads has left without me.”

Sirius chuckled quietly on the bed and the soft sliding of sheets indicated that he stood.

Remus shrugged to himself and hummed in thought, “I think, I’ll go through his trunk and steal all his candy stash.”

A random invisible gasp came from his right and Remus chuckled, heading over to Sirius’s trunk. He unlocked it with a quick flick of his wand and opened the top,

“Hellooo sweat, diabetes giving victims”

“Noo!” it was a playful shout and Remus found himself being tackled to the floor, just as James walked in.

Holding his broom and padding gear in his arms, James looked down at Remus uncannily, “having a romp with yourself, Lupin?”

Remus smirked, “yes James, I have tried to rob our dear Padfoot but have fallen to his brilliant candy traps,” on top of him, Sirius wiggled a bit and Remus blushed, “care to join me in my adventure to further rotting my teeth, Prongs?”

James stood in silence for a bit, trying to decide if Remus was kidding around or being serious. The smile on Remus’s face told him the first option was the truth, but still Sirius was no where insight that James could see and his trunk was open. Finally, James shrugged, and dumped his arm full onto his own bed, “sure, I’m always up for stealing from Pads.”

Sirius’s weight lifted of Remus and the young werewolf smirked as he watched a ripple in the cloak smooth out as Sirius headed for James. Without even hesitating, Sirius wrapped his arms around James’s waist and un-buckled his best friends belt. James yelped and struggled against what appeared to be air, “Holy! Merlin, Remus, you bloody liar! Sirius get off!”

Sirius chuckled and managed to wiggle James’s belt out of his pant loops and proceeded to slap him on the ass with the leather accessory. Out of nowhere, Sirius's voice spoke breathlessly and deep, Remus blushed even more,

“You’ve been naughty, Jamieeee.”

Uncharacteristically, James blushed to his hair roots and wiggled away from his floating belt.

“Sirius, I swear, if you hit me with that belt one more time.”

“You’ll what? _Punish_ me?”

If it were at all possible, James blushed even darker.

“Merlin, _stop_ talking in that voice!”

The belt fell to the floor and James’s hair ruffled for a moment and then Sirius seemed to be pulling off James’s school robe, or trying to anyway.

“But, I thought you liked it, _Jamie._ ”

“Sirius, _stop._ ”

For a long moment, James looked as if he had a spider crawling on his back as he tried to wiggle away from Sirius until finally, the cloak snagged on the corner of someone’s bed and Sirius appeared, arms wrapped around James’s waist, hair messed and a stupid smirk on his face. James looked rather scuffed, clothing falling off and glasses a bit askew, hair even more messed and blushing furiously.

“Some help you are, Lupin.”

Remus gathered himself to his feet and snagged the invisibility cloak, chuckling out the door.

“Come, Pads, we’ve got some mischief to finish.”

Sirius finally let go of James and walked briskly after Remus. The two of them passed Peter going down the stairs and Sirius turned and shouted back at the dormitory,

“You were perfect Jamesie! Better than last night!” and he winked at Peter, whose eyes widened and he froze on the spot. Of course, yelling on the staircase insured that many other students would hear what one was shouting about and Remus wondered how many people would think Sirius and James were snogging by morning. Remus and Sirius stumbled down the last step laughing loudly into the Gryffindor common room.

“Ok,” Remus sobered up a bit, “under we go.” He pulled the cloak on and over both him and Sirius before anyone really noticed them in the doorway.

As crowded as the common room was, it wasn’t that difficult to keep out of everyone’s way, most students were sitting and slipping through the portal was much easier than anticipated. They walked a ways from the entrance to Gryffindor tower until they were near one of the many entrances to the room of requirement, where not many of the teachers patrolled in the early evening. Tugging the cloak off, Remus fetched out the list of places they had been last night. Sirius leaned in close to glance over the list as well. Remus tried to ignore the breath on his neck.

“Since we planned on making the map top to bottom, the towers have all been looked over thoroughly, correct?”

Sirius nodded, but then, “oh! Wait, James and I couldn’t get into Dumbledore’s office or the Ravenclaw tower. Too many students were hanging about and Flitwick almost caught us trying to get in.”

Remus hummed and scratched off the remaining towers on the list. Gryffindor tower was the first thing they had gotten done, then the West tower and North tower, and Astronomy tower. They could move on to the seventh floor since their common room did lead out to it. Still, Remus would feel more comfortable with all the towers done. Dumbledore’s office would be the hardest to sneak around in. They would have no problem getting into the office, not when Sirius was a riddle genius, but staying for a length of time without getting caught would prove to be a challenge. Dumbledore somehow ended up knowing everything. Odds were that one of them would have to get into some kind of trouble that deserved a trip to Dumbledore’s office. That tower may have to be saved for last. With one last thought Remus nodded to himself,

“Alright, Ravenclaw tower it is then. Pads, lead the way if you would.”

Sirius flashed him a smile “certainly Messer Moony.”

It wouldn’t be hard staying in the Ravenclaw tower. As much as students tended to stick to their houses, many inter mingled and had friends in other houses. It wasn’t uncommon to see a Ravenclaw or Hufflepuff in the Gryffindor common room at times, or the other way around. Usually, they were there by invite though, as no one ever shared passwords to other houses. Once inside though, everyone assumed that they had been invited by someone, so odds were no one would kick them out, even if they came across Flitwick.

Ravenclaw was on the other side of the castle so they flipped the cloak back over them and headed to the west side of the castle. Since they were on the seventh floor, there weren’t many professors wondering about, the only important room really was Gryffindor’s common room and Flitwick’s office. Naturally, the empty halls inclined Sirius to be loud and obnoxious, even under the invisibility cloak.

Within the hour they reached the Ravenclaw common room (no thanks to Sirius) and were inside in seconds, (thanks to Sirius). Many of the Ravenclaw students were surprised to see Sirius Black and Remus Lupin wondering about their part of the castle, but not displeased. They stopped to chat with the few friends that were still up and Sirius flirted with a group of sixth year girls to let them up into the girl’s dormitories where Remus slipped the cloak on and took fast notes.

 By the time midnight rolled around and everyone in Ravenclaw had gone to bed, Sirius and Remus did a last check around the common room for missed cracks and secret passages and rooms and such. Satisfied, they headed out under the protection of James’s cloak. However, they did not head back to the safety of their own common room, seeing as they still had five hours till the sun would slowly start to rise and James would wake in a grumpy manner and wish that potions was expelled as a class _only_ because it was so early in the morning.

So, it was off to the one room on the seventh floor that never seemed to stay still or the same and therefore made it entirely impossible to come up with rune symbols for the map. Remus was fairly certain that the room of requirement would need a lot of  research before they actually got it to show up on the map. As it were though, Sirius wanted a bit of exploration before more library work, not that they would head to the library at such a god-awful time of night (“I’m not you , Moony. I need my beauty sleep, whilst my hair needs it as well, why do you think I am mountains of handsome?” )

It took about an hour of wondering around the seventh floor just for the room to appear.

“Finally, room of requirement my ass. I’m freezing!” it was rather cold in the corridor, but other than shivering they hadn’t needed the room that badly.

As they closed the door behind them, the doorway shuttered and disappeared, keeping them safe from passer bys. Inside the room was warm and cozy, looking a lot like the Gryffindor common room.

“Huh, you’d think it’d give us beds, I’m smashed.” Remus muttered, pulling away from the cloak and tossing it on the nearest chair.

“Moony, everyone knows couches are more comfy-“

“-yes, silly me.”

“Yes, silly you indeed.” Sirius flopped onto the couch, patting the seat next to him. Remus obliged.

There was no reason for them to be here, to be up and about, not with their work finished. But there was something, a feeling of excitement in the air, like when summer was just around the corner, which brought them to sit on a lovely cushiony couch in the room of requirement in the early hours of the morning. Remus, feeling a sudden surge of courage, glanced at Sirius, who was slouched so low that he had to look up at Remus. He looked tired, his hair windswept from running about, but altogether happy. He had slight dark circles under his eyes and only on Sirius did that make him look even more beautiful. His large eyes were drooping, and his lips wet. Remus wanted to kiss him.

And he did.

Remus didn’t know if it was the lack of sleep or thrill of exploring that gave him the courage to do so, but he was just as surprised as Sirius. He pulled back before he even really felt Sirius’s lips. They stared at each other for just a moment and then Sirius made this _sound_ and Remus grabbed the back of Sirius’s head and smashed their lips together in a frenzy. Remus moaned aloud. Kissing Sirius was like having chocolate. He tasted of sweets and minty fresh toothpaste. A rush of lust swiftly traveled through Remus’s body and he shifted, pushing Sirius down onto the couch. He tangled his fingers in his hair, pulling gently, coaxing a moan out of the dark haired wizard. They pushed and nipped and pulled at each other. It was a rough lust of tongues and hands and groans.

Remus didn’t want it to ever end, but he needed a breather. Sirius‘s lidded eyes sparkled silver in the firelight. His hair was messed and sprawled over the couch. His cheeks tingled pink and his breath came out in slow, deep intakes, his lashes fluttering when he looked up at Remus. He shifted, resting his arms on Remus’s shoulders, using them as leverage to pull himself up and close to the werewolf. Remus felt his face heat up as Sirius pressed in close to him. He wrapped his arms around Sirius’s waist, holding the Gryffindor up from the couch. They held close to each other, breathing against one another’s skin for a long while. Remus was sure he should be explaining, or saying something, but all he could think about was how Sirius’s body felt against his, and how his lips kept ghosting over his neck.

Sirius pulled back a bit, face so close their foreheads almost touched, “Moony…” he whispered, low and quiet, almost just a breath.

Remus smoothed his hands along Sirius’s middle and gently pushed him back down onto the couch, leaning over him until their foreheads really did rest together. He searched Sirius’s face, looking for something, but it was hard to tell what he was thinking especially when he was biting his lip when Remus’s thumb rubbed a patch of bare skin. Remus leaned his neck down and pressed a gentle kiss onto Sirius’s lips.

“Pads, I-”

But Sirius cut him off, pushing his lips up and hard against Remus. His body shook and Remus frowned slightly, Sirius’s movements suddenly felt desperate, as if he thought Remus was going to say he made a mistake. Remus, worried, pulled back again, drawing an anxious whine from Sirius.

“Pads,” he started again. He smiled gently at him and carefully brushed a lock of black hair away from his face, “we’re going to have to talk about this,” Sirius looked disappointed, “don’t worry; it’ll be a good talk.”

And Remus chuckled down into Sirius’s neck when he rolled his eyes.

Remus was right though, there were things about being with a werewolf that Sirius needed to know and Remus needed to know where this was going. He didn’t want to end up losing his best friend. Of course, he had a slight unfair advantage, he had overhead James and Sirius talking that one night, but, still they needed to talk. But that would come later; right now Remus wanted to cuddle Sirius and hide away in the room of requirement all night.

____

_Hogwarts, March 10 th, 1976_

It was the last Quidditch game for the year and James was jumping with nerves. Their team was not up to its best. Price had been off the team since the beginning of the season, Alice was on bed rest, (spring flu) so James had knocked Sirius up to fill the missing chaser spot. That left them without beaters, which wasn’t the safest thing to do, especially in a game with Slytherin, the last game of the season on top of it. Still, James was sure they could handle it, up until the point he was told that he needed at least one beater out there or they would have to forfeit the game. In a last minute panic, James grabbed Peter and shoved him on a broom, who was now looking quite sick as the sounds of excited students walked above them.

“Don’t worry Pete-y,” Sirius slapped his back, “beater isn’t that hard, if you miss the bludger, just get in the way of it.”

Peter let out an undignified whimper.

The sunlight was bright in their eyes but it was welcome over the rainy season they’d been having. It was warming up too and it felt good to have the warm wind around them. The game went fairly quick, with Gryffindor just barely winning. Peter ended up with the biggest bloody nose anyone had seen and everyone was drenched in sweat and dirt. They were tired and bruised but happy, really happy. Winning the cup gave them enough energy to bounce around in a circle screaming at each other happily.

The party in the common room afterwards required even more energy. James had no problem keeping up with it though and him and Peter mingled around and got as buzzed as possible on bearbutter while Sirius’s stolen record player blasted muggle rock and roll into the night.

Sirius retreated early to their room and Remus followed, worried over the sudden stone set expression. The room was hot and sticky with the coming summer days and the nearing of exams. Sirius lay stomach down, stretched out on his bed, shirt off and bruised torso exposed, a scar from one of his mother’s torture sessions stood out.  On his pillow lay a letter and Sirius tugged his hair back with a tired sigh. In the moonlight and dulled noise from downstairs, Sirius looked small and lost, alone.

Remus shuffled to Sirius’s side as quietly as he could. Remus sat next to Sirius, the mattress sinking slightly under his weight. Hesitating for only a moment, placing a hand on the small of Sirius bare back.

“Pads.”

A sigh traveled throughout his body and he turned to look at Remus, his face sullen.

“Moony. I think…I think I’ve gone and done something stupid.”

Remus smiled gently, “have you, pup?”

“Yep.”

Remus knew exactly what Sirius was talking about, because he too had gone and done something stupid. He’d fallen in love.

They stared at each other for a long moment. Slowly, he ran his hand up Sirius’s back, tracing the outline of his left shoulder blade and over the scar. He let his fingers dance across the back of his neck and slip into Sirius’s silky black hair. Before Remus lost his courage to, he leaned in, completely confident, and pressed his lips against Sirius’s. Their kiss was soft and gentle and short and when they pulled away Remus saw some of the pain in Sirius’s eyes melt away.

“Come here,” Remus whispered, arms open. Sirius sat up and twisted around, laying down against Remus, his nose nuzzled in against his neck.  Remus rested his head back against the headboard running his fingers through Sirius’s long hair, messaging his scalp. He waited as Sirius fell into slumber before carefully reaching over and taking the letter from Sirius’s pillow. He didn’t read it, not this time. He didn’t have too. But that didn’t mean that Sirius had to read it either. Remus slipped it in his robe pocket, making a mental note to destroy it later. He shifted slightly and lay his head on top of Sirius’s. In the morning, Remus woke to a stiff neck and Sirius curled against him, face squished against his collar bone and arm thrown over his waist.

____

_Hogwarts, April 26 th, 1976_

The heat of summer had come early and it was near impossible to get away from it. In fact, the only place in the castle that was slightly cool was the dungeons. Remus found himself excited to go to potions, just to get away from the heat.

Professor Slughorn seemed to think beating the heat was a good idea too and had them cooking up cooling potions and ice potions, all of which Remus were so thankful for. They were also very easy to make, which made potions more bearable for the young werewolf. It was a bit distracting though, to listen to Sirius moan in pleasure every time he drank a bit of the potion, getting relief from the heat. He had never really noticed how vocal Sirius was and now it was all he could think about. It was even worse when they got ice cubes and Sirius kept sucking on them instead of dropping them in the potion. By the time potions was over, Remus was so turned on he could hardly see straight.

He grabbed Sirius by the hood the moment they were out the door, ignoring his choked gasped, and didn’t let go until they were down an empty corridor. He pushed Sirius up against the wall and trapped him, claiming his lips in a fast kiss.

“You,” Remus panted, “are _very_ distracting.”

Sirius grinned up at him, “Oh really? I’m sorry, I hope I didn’t cause your grade to suffer.”

Remus chuckled against Sirius’s lips, “You better hope, pup.”

Footsteps startled them and Remus pulled away, “come on,” and dragged Sirius off again.

They walked for awhile, in parts of the castle that they hardly ever went too. They passed a low hallway that they hadn’t even been down and Sirius whined about making notes for the map, but Remus didn’t let up. The climbed up the eastern tower a bit before ducking onto the fifth floor and took a right down a dimly light, but pleasant corridor. Remus stopped suddenly in front of a portrait of a mermaid, her hair red and scales shimmering blue-green. She giggled at the two of them and flipped her tail in a flirty manner. Remus couldn’t help but snort.

“Password?” she asked her voice breathy.

“RaspberryLemon.”

She smiled and fluttered her eyes. Her portrait swooshed open and Remus dragged Sirius inside. The very small common room was lit dimy with deep hues of red and purple.

“Wha-” Sirius began, slightly confused.

“It’s the Prefect’s dorms. You know, Prefects get their own room.”

“Damn, this place is made for making out.” Sirius observed, eyeing the candles and very comfy looking couches and large chairs, “I mean, really?” he motioned to the portal, “she’s one sexy mermaid.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Remus muttered and pulled Sirius up the stairwell. Remus led him right to the top and into the right room.

It was slightly smaller than their Gryffindor dorm room. It had one large bed to the right side and a desk for studying against the wall next to it, where a large window over looked the lake and mountains. A large comfy chair sat in the far left corner and a small bathroom hooked up on the right side just as you walked through the door.

“Shit” Sirius said, “that’s it, this place really _was_ totally made for snogging, Dumbledore that sneaky old bastard.”

Remus didn’t care though; all he cared about was the actual snogging. He pulled Sirius and shoved him down on the bed, straddling him in seconds.

“You have been one bad puppy.”

Sirius grinned up at him, “what are you gunna do about it?”

Remus laughed and shrugged off his robe, losing his tie as he pushed down on Sirius, pressing his lips against his. Sirius’s hands took over Remus’s and he struggled with getting the tie out of the knot.

“Here,” he breathed hard, “ah-there got it.” He threw Remus’s tie somewhere and went for his shirt buttons. Remus growled in the back of his throat against Sirius’s jaw and slid his hands up Sirius’s thigh. He had entirely too many clothes on. He grabbed Sirius’s tie and yanked him up, hard, bringing a gasp out of the dark haired wizard.

As fast as his hands would let him, he popped open the buttons on Sirius’s uniform and slid the shirt and the robe off at the same time, slowly feeling the shape of Sirius’s shoulders as he did so. He nipped at Sirius’s neck and clavicle as his hands trailed down his stomach, chuckling when Sirius twitched from a tickle. Remus groaned into Sirius’s skin, he couldn’t get to all the places on him that he wanted. Remus gripped Sirius’s hips, pulled up, in one quick motion rolled them over and up so Remus was sitting on the edge of the bed, Sirius in his lap.

“Oi,” Sirius murmured against his cheek, “I always forget how strong you are.”

“Werewolf,” Remus muttered back, slipping his hands around Sirius’s waist.

Remus got lost in Sirius, his head fevered with heat and arousal. His hands started getting rougher, his bites harder but Sirius replied in pleasure and leaned against him, relaxed and open. He could stay like this forever. Summer was quickly deciding upon them though and Remus wasn’t looking forward to being without his puppy all summer. But he had him right now and it was really all that mattered in the early heat.  

_____  
_

_Hogwarts, May 8 th 1976_

Exams came with the loom of war in the news. The first murders were starting to arise and the ministry was still reluctant to declare a war that was already happening. The teachers were tense though and their homework load suddenly took a turn for the worse. The four marauders hadn’t worked on the map in weeks and all of them were losing sleep. The only good thing that seemed to be happening was the weather, which was bright and sunny and warm. They laid about the grass as much as they could, bringing books with them of course.

James noted how close Sirius and Remus sat next to each other lately.

He also noted how beautiful Lily’s hair looked in sunlight and went on chasing her in his manly ways. Of course, his manly ways didn’t always plan out how they should.

The day of the ‘Snivellus incident’ passed with a bitter note that James forbade them to mention to him for a long _long_ time.

James felt as if he had really lost that day and the week just brought more and more grim news of the war brewing outside of Hogwarts.

Sirius and Remus picked up the effort of the map, hiding away behind books and the parchment of their wondrous project. James noted that they sat even closer still.

____

_Hogwarts, May 24 th, 1976_

Minerva had never experienced so many students that had no ambitions outside of school. She would give anything for this day to be over, furthermore, for the week to be over. Out of all her fifth years she had met with today, only two of them knew what they had wanted to do. She wondered if her fellow teachers were having this much trouble with their own fifth years. It was after all career assessment day and it was still so very astonishing that not one single young person really cared enough to think about what to do with their education.

If she was honest with herself, what was most depressing about her one on one meetings was the one early that afternoon with Remus Lupin. He was such a clever boy and so clearly knew what direction he wanted to go in, he had many in fact. The first and foremost he had admitted to thinking about becoming an Auror, even when he was little, probably thinking along the lines of catching the werewolf that had bitten him and stolen his childhood. But she had seen the look of longing in his eyes as he told her so. That dream of his had no doubted been crushed the moment he found out that werewolves were not allowed to join the Auror division. He had then proceeded to admit that he thought a job in the ministry would have been interesting, particularly in law making. But, again, being a werewolf, it was impossible.

Minerva never hated the wizarding world as much as she did in that short hour. She watched one of her brightest students sit in front of her and shoot down his own dreams. By the end of the session he looked at her with wide honey eyes that betrayed his words, “I’m sure I’ll find something.”

She was desperate to rid that look in his eyes and blurted a fleeting thought as he rose to leave, “have you thought about teaching, Mr. Lupin?”

He had looked at her in shock, “teaching?”

“Well, yes, you are quite patient, and possess many qualities fine teachers have. With your skill level, you would no doubt be a great educator.”

For a moment she saw a flicker of hope spark in his eyes, but it faded fast, “I suppose that won’t matter once I try to eat my students, Professor.”

But the joke had fallen flat and his eyes held a longing that she had suddenly put there. Never before had she felt so foolish and ashamed by a student. She had sat in a long silence after he had retreated from her office.

And then with all the others who had come and gone since then only proved to increase her bad mood, as they had absolutely no idea what to do. She needed a holiday, a nice long one. She sighed and rubbed her eyes, her glasses up on her head. She glanced at her list and resisted from cursing allowed. She did not feel up to dealing with her next appointment, his name glaring mockingly up at her.

But the time came and went and Sirius Black did not show up for his scheduled career meeting. In fact, it was an hour past and McGonagall had moved on to grading her first year’s papers did her office door burst open and Sirius tumbled in, out of breath with his hair nearly all out of his pony tail and his bag disorganized; his mouth tight with annoyance and eyes dark.

“Black, you’re an hour late.”

“I know Professor,” Black muttered politely and settled down in the chair in front of her desk.

“Tardiness counts outside of Hogwarts, Mr. Black. It won’t be tolerated.”

“Yes Professor,” He did not meet her gaze and kept his tone chillingly well-mannered.

A short silence followed and McGonagall looked up from her paper. Black was sitting up straight, hands folded in his lap and gaze downward, his whole body tense with attention. She considered him for a moment.

“I must say, you are being awfully obedient, Black. Are you feeling well?” There might have been a slight teasing tone in her voice. Black did not take the bait though. He shifted, still not meeting her gaze.

“Fine, Professor.” He said.

“Black, I don’t have time-.” She started, managing to keep her annoyance out of her tone. But the moment he looked up at her with his large silver eyes swimming with something that was most certainly not an expression that Black ever had, she felt her annoyance melt away. There was something different about him. His usually cheekiness was not in place. Nor was the glint of mischief in his eyes or the proud smirk. Instead he suddenly looked very young and lost. His change of character silenced her.

She cleared her throat, “very well,” she gently put down her quill and gave him her full attention, “what have you thought about doing with your education?”

She was fully expecting him to pounce on the dark wizard catcher train that James Potter had proclaimed earlier that day to her. Potter had waltzed in her office, shouted obnoxiously that he was going to be the greatest Auror ever and demanded the list of classes he needed to become one. That meeting and lasted all but five minutes. And Lupin, who had brokenly admitted that he too wanted to aspire to joining the famous task force. Even Pettigrew had timidly muttered he was interested, though his grades reflected that it was nearly impossible for him to achieve so.  Naturally, since all of his friends had wished to pursue the path of an Auror, McGonagall fully expected Black to admit to the same profession.

“A healer.”

Of all things, she had not expected Black to say that. She could see why he would want to be an Auror. The danger, the adventure, and he would be ridding the world of dark wizards, such as his parents that he so loudly hated. But she never expected for a moment that he would want to take on a profession that was solely based on helping others. Sirius Black was not known to have sympathy, or compassion for his peers. Many of them were there for his sheer amusement, or as so he liked to say.

“A healer…” she repeated, her surprise not masked well.

That apparently was the wrong thing to do. Black’s eyes flickered with hurt that was quickly replaced by anger and then suddenly, she was looking to the eyes that normally terrorized her class room. He had slid his mask back on.

Quick to remedy his mood change, she waved her wand and his papers popped in front of her. Of course, she didn’t really need them to know. Sirius Black, as much trouble as he caused, was one of the brightest students she had ever taught. Magic in every form came to him with such ease it was hard to believe that he was still so young. And while she would never admit it, he was better at Transfiguration then she had been at twice his age. There was only one E littered amongst the O’s on his grade report, and it stood stubbornly next to the class, History of Magic. It was almost unfair at how talented he was.

“Well, you’re certainly on your way to be qualified as one. You have an excellent track record, Mr. Black. I suspect your O.W.L.S will be something short of a challenge. “

Black shrugged carelessly, his mask not budging.

“I must say I am surprised, I thought you would be interested in being an Auror, like Mr. Potter.”

Black looked at her with dark eyes, thinking carefully before he spoke, “I did, well, I still am. But,” he hesitated, “I think I could do more as a healer.”

Minerva shifted through her papers on her desk. The task of getting enough education for a healer position was a heavy load, more so than normal. Those who choose to do so had to be even more on top of their game then Aurors.

“I have no doubt that you would be an excellent healer. But your skills at Transfiguration and Defense against the Dark arts stand out even more so. Any particular reason you want to become a healer?”

A faint blush blossomed across his cheeks and the mask finally slid from his eyes.

“Too find a cure.”

“I’m sorry?” she looked at him over the top of her glasses.

“I’m going to find a cure for Remus.”

For the second time that day, she had never felt so foolish by the words of a student.

____

_Hogwarts, June 10 th, 1976_

The school was buzzing with happy students, all exams done and mostly passed. Another year had come and gone for Hogwarts and many had survived the fifth year of what was probably going to be known as the era of Potter and Black, or perhaps, to the four boys, the era of the marauders.

Dumbledore walked the school grounds on the last day, knowing full well that most of them would go home to a happy summer holiday. The first years would be excited to come back and learn harder magic, the second and third years would continue to wish to be part of the older groups. Forth years would finally become the grilling mid-teens their parents feared. Fifth years would become sixth years, which only allowed Black and Potter to become all the more menacing, though brilliant, Dumbledore had to admit that. Sixth years would become seventh years and would work to prove themselves that growing up was far more fun than being grown up. Seventh years, bright and fresh would rush out to the wizarding world to discover the war that had now blossomed into a real event. Hogwarts students of 76 would be the first causalities.

It was clear to Dumbledore as the school started to pack and claim to the summer that in the coming events, he would need to gather a strong group that could find the mentality to hold together in dark times. He couldn’t look to those leaving this year; they were not prepared for the horror that was sure to come.  Nor could he really expect next year’s batch to be that intertwined. What he was looking for rested in Hogwarts fifth years, a select few that littered the Gryffindor house.

Until next school year though, he could wait another year to start the order. Give the war a chance to disappear if people didn’t give in to the fear.

Dumbledore could wait.

_

The train ride back was far too short. But it was loud and fun and full of plans for the summer that they knew were going to happen.

Peter was the first to find his parents and he went scampering off with a shout and slaps on the back. James was the second; well his parents found him and gathered Sirius into hugs as large as their own son got. Naturally, James got all awkward and coughed uncomfortably until Sirius and Remus pulled him for a hug, threatening him with pranks and such that he would be receiving during the break. They watched as James wrestled his Dad out of a head lock through the crowd until they couldn’t see the Potters anymore.

Remus caught sight of his parents at the same time Sirius did, but the both of them went to Remus’s. Sirius smiled sweetly and charmed Remus’s Mother and Father just the right way so they wouldn’t worry that Remus was lieing to them about having friends. They hugged goodbye, Sirius burying his face into Remus’s neck until Sirius’s Mother shouted shrilly at him to hurry up. They hugged longer then they hugged James and tighter than necessary. And at the second nagging shout, Remus risked running his fingers through Sirius’s hair and a longing chaste kiss. He bathed in the warmth that tingled his lips as he watched Sirius slouch over to his Mother, hating that he couldn’t do anything to ease Sirius’s distain for the summer holiday.

____

_King’s Cross, September 1 st, 1971_

“Fuck! Ow! Would you _move!_ ”

Remus Lupin looked up in alarm out the glass windows of the sliding door on the Hogwarts express. Outside were two boys, both dark haired. One was taller and had brilliant blue eyes and a handsome smile; at first glance he had such a pretty face that he might have been a girl. The other was shorter, with greasier hair and a large nose; he looked as if someone had punched him in the gut.

Remus swallowed and hoped the pretty boy didn’t come into the compartment, he was the one spitting not so pretty words that Remus was sure his Mother wouldn’t want him saying.

Of course, Remus Lupin had the worst luck ever and he shrunk into himself as the door slid open and the pretty boy stumbled in, trunk and all. He seemed to have not noticed Remus and stuck his head back out, almost tripping over his trunk again,

“Hey! Potter! Down here!”

A moment later another dark haired boy with glasses popped in, having much more control over his belongings.

“Wotcher Sirius, glad to see your Mum still hates me.”

The pretty boy smirked, “yeah, she tends to hate everyone though.”

“Yeah, but we’ve only been friends for two weeks and she really hates me!”

“It’s your hair, it’s to chaotic for her.”

They laughed together with twin smirks on their faces and Remus thought they seemed a bit rude.

They managed to get both their things in the compartment before either of them noticed Remus.

“Oi! Sorry there, mate. Didn’t see you. Do want us to leave?” the one with the glasses, Potter, looked as if he had walked in on two seventh years making out.

The pretty boy, Sirius was it, rolled his eyes and flopped down next to Remus, “of course he doesn’t want us to leave, James. We’re smashing.”

“Um…” Remus felt a bit sick, he supposed because the two boys looked at him as if he really was.

“Really, we can leave.” James Potter said.

Remus bit his lip. He really should ask them to go, it…would be better if they did, better for them and better for him. But something in the air made him want to get to know them.

“N-no, it’s ok.”

Sirius broke out in a smile, “brilliant, everywhere else is packed, it’s rather annoying. I told Mother that we needed to get here earlier, but _noooo_.”

James smirked, kicking Sirius in the shin to help lift his trunk over their heads and onto the luggage rack.

“So,” James dusted his hands off each other, “I’m James Potter.”

Sirius rolled his eyes, “Yes, I think he knows James, he heard me shouting your name about.”

James frowned and stuck his tongue out, “you’ll have to excuse Sirius, you see, he’s a member of the Black family, no manners, none at all.”

Sirius threw something at James and Remus smiled shyly.

“I’m Remus.”

Sirius let out a shout of nonsense and flopped his arm around Remus’s shoulders as if they had been life-long friends.

“Well then, Remus, mate. Now that you’ve meet us, you’re stuck with us.”

It seemed more of a threat then a joke but Remus couldn’t help but chuckle anyway, “oh, I guess that’s too bad. I was hoping for prettier friends.” He didn’t know why he said it, he just had and he froze for a moment. Maybe his Mother had been right, it was best to stick to himself.

Sirius and James looked as if he had shot them and Remus suddenly felt like the long-nosed greasy haired kid early.

“Did you just call a member of the Black family ugly? A Black, ugly! Do you not know the Blacks at all?”

“Um….no?”

There was a moment where Remus was sure Sirius would hit him. Instead he found a strong grip hugging him rather tightly,

“James! James did you hear? He has wit and sense! I think I’m in love.”

“Ew, git, you can’t be in love with a boy.”

“I’ll be in love with whoever I want, Potter.”

Remus smiled to himself as James Potter and Sirius Black continued to bicker jokingly the whole way to the school. Maybe, this hadn’t been such a bad idea after all.

 

_"Do you remember when we met?_

_That's the day, I knew you were my pet._

_I wanna tell you, how much I love you._

_Come with me, My love."_

_-Cat Power  
_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo, yes/ no? :) Thanks for reading!!


	3. In The Company of Strangers-Year 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Starting his magical education is going to change Remus Lupin's life in ways he'll never guess. Year 1

_When I left my home and my family_

_I was no more than a boy_

_In the company of strangers_

_In the quiet of a railway station_

_-The Boxer, Simon & Garfunkel  
_

 

_Hogwarts, September 1 st 1971_

Sirius Black was one of the most infuriating people Remus had ever met. Not only did he insist on being obnoxious and _very_ opinionated, but he _noticed_ things. Things that were entirely too hard to notice by an eleven year old, or even an adult for that matter. Sirius Black noticed far too many things in just about seconds upon seeing whatever it may be that was under inspection of the boy’s gaze. It made Remus worry and twitchy and shy.

Remus frowned, maybe he should have just been home schooled. Of course, now that he was actually in the castle and his dorm room, it was entirely too late to change his mind. And as much as Black worried him, it was nice to be around other kids, other _boys._

James Potter was rummaging, loudly, through his trunk on the bed next to Sirius’s and to the far left, next to James, a short, chubby blond boy that Remus did not recognize, but he seemed much more nervous than Remus did and even squeaked when he caught Remus looking at him. Sirius lay dully on his bed, looking up at the ceiling and blowing his parted bangs up off his face. These were his roommates for the next seven years. Seven years that Remus was starting feel were going to be anxiety ridden.

Remus took a deep breath and moved from the doorway, dragging his trunk to the last remaining bed, next to Sirius.

“Oi! Remus!”

Remus jumped and glanced up at James, “Y-yes?”

“Wanna come down to the common room and play exploding snap?”

James looked so hopeful at him that Remus felt bad saying no, even if it was time for bed, at least for first years.

“Sod off James, we’re not suppose to go down.” Sirius growled from his bed, “don’t you know? It’s past our bed time.”

James pulled a face, “you sod off.” And James dragged Remus out of the room and down the stairs.

They returned a short hour later after a Prefect had chased them up. The boy that Remus did not know had gone to sleep, as had Sirius. Even in his sleep he looked entirely too proper, Remus wondered what could have made him change from on the train earlier that day.

The next morning had Sirius up and early, making his bed so every sheet was perfectly smooth and no wrinkles, his uniform lay out perfectly and his books marked and ready to go. Remus woke to the soft grumble of his voice, still yet to finish through puberty, like the rest of them. It took a few moments for Remus to fully wake, and when he did, he got a huff from Sirius. A bit confused, Remus went about looking for the books he’d need and lazily slipped on his own uniform. James himself was just getting out of bed and he gave a groggily ‘morning’ to the room, to which only Remus gave a polite reply. The boy who Remus had learned was Peter turned over in his sleep and grunted.

During their first class, Sirius kept nagging James to sit up straight and for Remus to write correct notes. By the end of the day Remus was absolutely sure that Sirius Black had figured out his secret, and therefore was unleashing a wave of hatred to anyone around him. He was being snobbish and bossy and moody and his eyes seemed cold and flickered angrily. This routine happened until the end of the week( at which point Remus was fretting with panic and near tears every night, wondering if he should tell a teacher that someone knew what he was) when, after Sirius had snapped at James for leaving a book to close to the fire down stairs, James snapped right back.

“Black! Will you bloody shut up!”

Sirius looked horrified, “Excuse me?”

“ _Relax_ will you, stupid! It’s not like your Mum’s here! The worst trouble you can get in is detention!”

Sirius was about to shout something back, anger in his eyes, but then he froze. The young Gryffindor seemed to have something click in his brain.

“No parents…”

“Yeah, no parents, you can do whatever you want.” James rolled his eyes and threw a book at Sirius.

Remus expected Sirius to growl dangerously and make some snob remark before flopping violently onto his bed. There was a very tense silence that started to become awkward until,

“FREEDOM!” Sirius had spun about, flung the dorm door open and flung his arms up, leaned back and screamed down the corridor.

Just as quickly, Sirius spun back and tackled James into a head lock, “James Potter! You great git! Why did you not tell me earlier? Save me from making a snob of myself!”

James snorted and wrestled out of Sirius’s grasp, “Well, I thought you were clever enough to figure it out on your own, but I guess not.”

“I see…I’ll have you know I am far more intelligent then all of you put together.”

“Right, which is why you’ve been a git for the first week and not acting like yourself?”

“Oi! I was being myself. Well, my family self.” Sirius muttered off.

“Yeah, but, we’re not your family, we’re your _friends.”_

Remus tensed, still suspicious that Sirius knew he was a werewolf. But even as he spoke, his anxiety was calming, “friends? Speak for yourself Potter.”

James and Sirius stared at him with big eyes.

Remus was sure they would quit, but the minutes dragged on and their eyes seemed to get even bigger.

“…I’m just _joking_.” 

Sirius broke out into a smile and tackled Remus backwards onto his bed with a happy shout.

***

_Hogwarts, October 4 th, 1971_

Remus woke to James and Sirius giggling on their beds. Normally he would poke his head out of his curtains and ask what they were being so girly about, but today, today was just after the full moon and his head still hurt and he very much wanted to talk to his mum and be at home rather than in the cool dark tower of Gryffindor. After a long moment of trying to go back to sleep, Remus sighed. He was sure that James and Sirius were keeping up Peter as well.

“Oi! Don’t you two know what manners are?” Remus snipped, barely peeking his head out from behind his bed curtains. He also didn’t wait for a response, but flipped around and glared at the wall, willing himself to go back to sleep. Sirius’s footsteps though got very close and Remus tensed, waiting for the inevitable.

When the tackle didn’t come, Remus frowned slightly and twisted to look over his shoulder. Through the curtains, Sirius’s silhouette stood very still. “What?” Remus barked.

Sirius let out a whine of some sort, “don’t be grumpy, Remmy. James and I know of something that will cheer you up.”

Remus also resisted the urge to disagree.

“We’ve found something.”

And then his curtains were pulled back dramatically and the sunlight came pouring in. Sirius stood over him, smirking so devilishly that Remus was rather unsure of his motives.

 “Well,” James jumped from out of nowhere, leaning heavily on Sirius, “I actually found it.”

Sirius rolled his eyes, “ _we’ve_ found the entrance to the kitchens!”

James pouted, shoving Sirius a bit, “way to just spill! I wanted to build up the suspen-”

“Kitchens?!” a squeak came from the far side of the room. Apparently the mention of anything to do with food would get Peter’s attention.

“Yeah! It’s so brilliant!” and Sirius was dragging Peter out of his own bed, “we have to go, right now!”

“Why?” Remus asked, sitting up, “breakfast is in an hour, you can just eat like a normal person in the great hall.”

Sirius looked honestly offended, “what! Eat! In the great hall? With those, those-er-”

“-prats-” James offered.

“-yes, prats! Thanks James-with those prats! Why, who do you take me for Mr. Lupin? I, Sirius Orion Black, shall no longer have to suffer through-”

But Remus knew where this was heading, even in just the short month that he had known Sirius, and he also knew when to cut the young dark wizard off. “Alright! Kitchens it is then.”

So the four of them snuck down to the kitchens an hour before breakfast, giggling and shoving each other the whole way. And as tired as Remus was, it was rather splendid to be served upon so well from the house elves. The kitchens were also warm and toasty and safe feeling, which was just what Remus had needed after his midnight romp with the wolf. With their stomachs full and the castle starting to wake, the four of them stumbled back to their common room as quietly as possible. However, just as the portal swung open, Professor McGonagall came around the corner.

“Black, Potter! Pettigrew, Lupin!” all four boys flinched. Already, Sirius and James had gotten reputations for getting into trouble, or at least on the irritated side of teachers. And they already had a detention for something Remus didn’t completely understand. No matter, it seemed this time, a detention was in all of their futures.

“Professor!” James smiled, “smashing morning!”

“It is awfully early to be getting up, especially on a Saturday.” Professor McGonagall glared at the four of them, thinking that they had just gotten out of the portal, rather than returning to the Gryffindor tower.

“Uh,” Sirius muttered, and then grabbed Remus, “Remmy’s hungry! Soo, we thought we’d all go down for breakfast a little early. You know, get the good stuff.”

McGonagall looked as if she didn’t believe them and there was a very long intense silence, in which smiles and glares were exchanged. Until, “well, alright. Hurry along then boys. I don’t want to see any trouble from you.” And she went on her way, though not before watching the four boys head off in the direction of the great hall.

“Oh man,” Peter groaned, “I’m stuffed, I can’t eat a- whole-nother meal!”

“So don’t, just sit there.”

And that’s what they did, till McGonagall came stalking in for her own breakfast, in which the four boys started and suddenly shoved food down their already full stomachs. And after only half a plate, they groaned and slowly made their way back to their dormitory.

“Ok,” Sirius moaned, falling back onto his bed, “let’s stop running into McGonagall.”

“Yes, if only it were that easy.” James pouted.

“Or, you could stop sneaking around.”

Sirius and James looked at each other before bursting out in laughs, though they quieted down very quickly in moans.

“Don’t be daft Remmy.”

“Yeah,” James nodded in agreement, “this school was built for sneaking around.”

Remus rolled his eyes and concentrated on not throwing up all the food he had just eaten. Peter made a whimper like noise and heaved before a very strong and vile smell filled room.

“Argh, Peter!”

***

_Hogwarts, October 30 th 1971_

After the breakfast incident, James and Sirius took to sneaking about the castle a bit more carefully, but didn’t stop them altogether. In fact, it seemed to intensify their need to terrorize the school. In all but another month, they had frozen nearly all the doors shut in the dungeons, leaving the Slytherins shivering in the cold for hours before they could get in to their common room. Took all the pictures and portraits on the third floor and switched them at night, causing a ruckus between the paintings on being awaked in very strange places of the castle. Got the giant squid to drag a few Hufflepuff’s into the lake during one of the first snow falls, and turned a greasy haired first year, by the name of Severus Snape, hair a bright hot pink. None of these pranks and resulted in detention, which was beyond belief for Remus.

So, it really wasn’t all that odd to see a group of Syltherin’s rushing out of the great hall the morning before Halloween, covered in what looked to be candy corn candies. The muggle candy seemed to be sprouting about from their skin and leaving a trail behind them. In the group, Snape, seemed to be have gotten the worst of the spell, there was candy leaking out of his nose.

Remus forced his smirk to a frown upon coming up to his giggling friends.

“Remmy! Did you see, did you see?” Sirius burst through his giggles, leaning heavily on James.

“Yes, Sirius, I saw.”

“We were aiming for Snape, but got a whole group of them Slytherins too!” James was nearly glowing with joy, “I didn’t know it would work that well.”

“Why, have you two chosen to go after that Snape boy? He has done absolutely nothing to you.” Remus ignored their gasps of disbelief and reached for some butter for his toast.

“Done absolutely nothing?” Sirius was growling with hate, “that slimy little git has done everything to us!”

Remus hardly believed that and he gave Sirius a ‘oh really’ look.

“What! You don’t believe us?” James shouted.

“That’s just not right, it’s not.” Sirius shook his head in fake sadness, “after all, we’re doing it for you, Remus.”

“For me? Why would I ever want you to make someone grow candy corn?”

“Because,” Peter pipped, “he called you a freak.”

Remus froze. A freak, Snape was calling him that, did he know. How many people had he told? Panic began to overtake Remus, his secret was out, and in only two months someone knew he was a werewolf.

“Yeah, the slimy git, kept going on about how much of a loner you are and that you haven’t any friends because you’re a kiss ass.”

“He’s just jealous; everyone knows the teachers love you Remmy.”

“o-oh,” Remus felt his panic subside a bit, so Snape didn’t know he was a werewolf, “I-is that all?”

“Is that all?!” Sirius roared and he slapped the table, “no one insults us, the infamous marauders-”

“-wait, what? Marauders?-”

“-FOR WE ARE THE GREAT FOUR OF GRYFFINDOR!” Sirius raised his voice over Remus’s inquiry at the group nickname, “AND TO TARNISH ONE OF OUR OWN IS LIKE CRACKING THE NECK OF A YOUNG CHILD!-”

“-eh, graphic Sirius, too graphic-”

“-WE,” Sirius shouted louder still, now standing on the sitting bench, “SHALL NOT ALLOW SUCH HENDIOUS CRIMES TO BE COMMITTED! THE MARAUDERS ARE ABOVE THOSE THA-”

“Mister Black!”

Sirius jumped and tumbled to the floor, landing right at McGonagall’s feet, “please refrain from climbing about on the furniture, Black.”

“Of course, Professor, I just couldn’t help myself, I was just too happy.”

“Yes, about causing muggle candy to sprout from Mr. Snape and his peers noses?”

“Why, ye-eer. Uh,”

“Ten points from Gryffindor, Black. And if I catch you and Potter pranking again it’ll be a detention.”

Peter snorted into his pumpkin juice. Which earned him a suspicious glance from McGonagall on her way to their teachers table.

A long silence followed as Sirius reseated himself.

“So, marauders?” Remus asked attentively.

“Brilliant isn’t it? James and I thought of it last week.”

“But, it’s a little…negative, don’t you think?”

“No, I don’t think so Lupin. It’s the perfect fit.”

“Yes,” Remus mused, “cause we always go about robbing and torturing people.”

“Only those that deserve it.” Peter smiled, pleased that Sirius and James nodded in agreement with his statement.

And that was how they four of them came to be known as the marauders. Though Remus didn’t feel that the name applied to him and Peter as much as it did to Sirius and James. Despite them saying otherwise, Remus and Peter were often not running about with Sirius and James and where the need for splitting up came about, Sirius and James always paired with each other. Even while James and Sirius explained their Halloween prank to the two other boys, neither had part in helping set it up or even thinking of the prank. As much as the ‘four’ of them where friends, James and Sirius were the true marauders.

Which was why Remus found it not only surprising, but extremely irritating that he too had received a detention for the ‘epicness’ of the very first marauder Halloween prank. (James and Sirius reassured Remus that it was going to be an annually ritual.) Of course, the part of Remus that did think he was part of the marauders, the side that also happened to come from the wolf, did enjoy the chaotic moment of the evening. Since yesterday morning, Remus had gained a great dislike for Snape, or who Sirius and James had taken to calling Snivellus. Again, Remus had no idea where the nick name came from; the minds of James and Sirius were like no other. Never the less, the nick name caught on quick in their small group.

So, it had been gratifying, even if he didn’t voice it, to see the prank solely based on Snivellus himself. And even as the prank unfolded Remus couldn’t help but laugh along with his fellow marauders.  To see millions of bats swarming the great hall, all to create the illusion of dark storm clouds that suddenly dove for the Slytherins and Snape himself, grabbed them by their trousers and tossed them about till they landed in the transfigured seats of pumpkin pie, was indeed gratifying. It was probably the act in laughing at the prank that landed him a detention with Sirius and James. He still didn’t get why Peter didn’t get detention too though. 

Still, Remus did feel irritated, if he was going to suffer along with his friends, he might as well get credit for doing the prank as well.

“Oi, Remmy!” Sirius grinned at him through his curtains, “wasn’t that brilliant? James and I are already thinking of next year’s Halloween prank.”

Remus frowned, “how bout concentrating on the rest of the school year first. After all, if we’re going to keep our group name, it only fits to keep on with the pranks.”

Sirius gasped and James sat up so quickly that his glasses slipped off his nose.

“Remmy…did you just…you-”

“-Merlin! What’s happened? Has someone possessed you?”

Remus smirked, “perhaps. I just don’t enjoy getting detention for something I was not even a part of.”

“So,” Sirius whispered, “you want to do a prank, for realsies? With James and I?”

Remus shrugged, “well, isn’t that the point of being a marauder. What’s the sense in calling myself that if I don’t do anything. Besides, you and James can’t have all the fun.”

“Splendid!” and Sirius hugged Remus so hard that the young werewolf winced. He still wasn’t completely healed from the last full moon, “oh this is going to be so much fun. Oh, oh! We should do holiday pranks. Christmas, something with peppermint and eyes! And New Years, ummm, frogs and the girls bathroom? ”

“Don’t forget Valentine’s day!” Peter squeaked.

“Right! Valentine’s day! Thanks Peter!”

And before Remus knew it, he was planning a year long list of pranks, the detention that he still had yet to attend gone from his mind.

And perhaps, he and Peter weren’t as separated from Sirius and James as Remus had thought.

***

_Hogwarts, November 15 th 1971_

 

It was mid November when Sirius Black started to see a pattern. It wasn’t a particular obvious pattern, just one that was noticeable after a while. It happened once a month. He wasn’t sure if James noticed it, and he knew that Peter didn’t, there was no way that boy would notice anything unless it shouted right in his face. At first, Sirius wasn’t even sure what to think, or that there even was a pattern to the obviously painful events that happened to none other than the marauder’s very own Remus Lupin.

If there was one obvious thing about Remus Lupin, it was that he was secretive. He rarely spoke of himself and never did he speak of anything that had to do with outside of school. Never did he say ‘my father told me’, or ‘my mum made this for me’, in fact, it seemed that Remus had no parents at all, or any family for that matter. And for the most part, Sirius was sure he didn’t, except for once a month Remus would say,’ I have to go visit my mum, she’s very sick’. And he would always return looking pained and pale afterwards.

Now, Sirius didn’t doubt Remus, he would die before outright calling his friend a liar, at least a liar without good reason. But, a good reason was certainly what Remus Lupin had, and that good reason had to do with the pattern. Sirius didn’t know what either exactly was yet, just that it had something to do with Remus Lupin’s personal life. And it most certainly wasn’t his mother that was the sick one. Of course, he couldn’t just come out and ask Remus what was up; one because, as previously mentioned, Remus was a very secretive person, and two, they all hadn’t known each other long enough to be at that stage in a friendship, where you share your deepest darkest secrets. Because in the whole of time, two and a half months was not long enough to start getting all dark on one another. There were some things that needed time to admit and maybe even age.

So without being able to talk to Remus about it, or tell James or Peter, Sirius did the one thing that he could. He could watch and think and figure things out on his own. Despite the assumption that most had of him, Sirius Black was very patient. He was very good at seeing details and figuring out puzzles and secrets. After all, that was one of the reasons he was so quickly one of the head in his class. Sirius knew how to read people, how to study movement and emotions. Things came natural to him, a gift that he was gladly possessed with. He shared that gift with James, though James seemed to be oblivious to it, as he was only adequate at school. Of course, that also had to do with age. Sirius was sure that as they got older, James would notice too, that he was also very gifted in ‘studying’.

It was what drived James to be an auror, even at a young age. And while Sirius wouldn’t admit it, not yet, he too also had thought about being an auror after school. James of course had his family, a bunch that were always hot-blood filled Gryffindor’s that rushed to protect. What drove Sirius to the conclusion that he too would probably consider being a dark wizard catcher was his own family, because he wanted nothing more than to lock away his own parents. It was also the need, to prove that being a Black didn’t carve his destiny in stone. It was the part of Sirius that made him a Gryffindor and the part of Sirius that itched to know why, _why_ did Remus Lupin disappear once a month for a weekend.

“Black! Pay attention!”

Sirius jumped and winced as a pod burst and acid green pus exploded over his hand, hissing as it ate away at his flesh.  Beside him Remus dropped a pair of gloves in his lap with a wince, “where ‘em, didn’t you hear what Professor Sprout said?”

Sirius grinned, noting the long scar on Remus’s wrist, “eh, what’s life without a little flesh burning?”

Remus gave him a look, but chuckled anyway.

“Well, alright, whatever you want Sirius.”

“Oi!” James poked his head between them, “how much says I can get Snivellus to drink a potion that turns him into a girl?”

Sirius grinned, and he knew that making a bet was useless, he and James had never failed to do any sort of magic yet, but still, where was the fun without some kind of gamble. “Four dung bombs and a week of washing my hands with this acid pus shit.”

James grinned.

By dinner, Snape was glaring through much more feminine eyes and trying to hide his very obvious gender change. Sirius just grinned and bared the pain; after all he had known he would lose the bet. But there was a reason. Because whenever he was in pain, Remus was the one to check on the wounds, to mother hen them and the more Remus was closer to Sirius, the more Sirius could study him and figure out what the pattern was all about.

After all it was Sirius’s gift to figure out secrets.

***

_Hogwarts, December 17 th 1971_

It had been a very bad moon, very bad. Remus could barely move and all he kept thinking about was the test he had to get better for on Wednesday. That and there was no way he was going to be healed up enough in a day. He knew that his transformations would get worse, especially being away, being someplace unfamiliar. But this was too soon; too soon and too obvious. If every full moon was as bad as this one, Sirius and James and Peter would know all too quickly that he was a werewolf. And he couldn’t have them know, not yet. Maybe not ever. He was aware that Sirius didn’t quite believe his ‘my mum is sick’ excuse, but he was good enough of a friend to just believe it anyway. But after this, the doubt would start turning in Sirius’s mind. Remus could see it happening already, the gears ticking away in his dark haired friend. He would have to come up with a different excuse now. Now, his wounds would be visible and far too many to say he just bumped into a desk.

Remus wondered if Sirius was a good enough of a friend to ignore his obvious lies this time around. He wondered and wondered until he was taken to the hospital wing, where he still wondered, but the panic was dulled by the healing potions and he fell into a hazy sleep.

When he woke the hospital wing he was alone. He was usually alone. An only child never played with anyone else, not until Hogwarts, not until the marauders. In his potion fogged mind he felt the subconscious wish for someone to know about his lyncopthy, to know and not act any different towards him, to not care. As he lay alone and hurting he wanted to tell them, Sirius, James, and Peter.  He drifted in and out of consciousness with that thought until a few days later when everything seemed to be numb and didn’t hurt so bad anymore. Then the fear came back and Remus convinced himself that as long as he had his parents, no one else needed to know.

It was _enough._ It _was_.

***

_Hogwarts, January 6 th 1972_

 

Getting back to Hogwarts was all Sirius thought about while at home. While he had worse experiences with his family, just being around them made him bitter and negative and feel so _dark._ At school, with James and Remus and Peter he felt warm and sunny and happy. He needed to be at school, to become the person he wanted to be and not the Black that everyone thought he would become. And for that need to be fulfilled, Sirius was the first out of the four of them on the train back. He sat in silence, just watching the snow fall and he curled in on himself, ignoring the slight ache in his limbs. He had broken his mother’s favorite china set, earning him a rather annoying painful curse that was just now wearing off.

He zoned out for so long that he didn’t even hear James slam the door open in joy, “Oi! Sirius! Smashing good holiday, don’t ya think?”

Sirius jumped and hissed, “James! Ow, fuckty, ow.”

“Woah, mate, you ok?”

And James grabbed his arm before Sirius could reply.

“Holy! Black, what the hell did you do to your arm?”

Sirius gritted his teeth.

So now was the time for secrets to start spilling? He rather it not be, it was still too soon. Lucky for him, Peter decided to interrupt at that moment and Sirius vowed to love the blond bastard forever and ever.

“Pete-y!”

 Peter scrunched up his nose, “Urgh, do you have to have to call me that? My aunt Milly calls me that.”

“Yes, Pete-y I _have_ to call you that. My life depends on it, nay, Remmy’s life depends on it!”

“My life depends on what now?” Remus asked from the doorway, still looking a bit pale from the start of holiday break.

“On Peter’s new nick name, which I think you are getting entirely too comfortable with Sirius.”

“Uh! Whatever do you mean? I haven’t a nick name for you James.”

“Thank Merlin for that.” James bobbed Sirius on the head, “I don’t know how you stand it Remus.”

Remus shrugged, “it’s not his fault. It’s easier for him to remember our names this way.” And Remus hugged Sirius as if he were a five year old child and patted his head, messing his perfectly parted and combed short hair.

“Oi! I’ll have you know that I know your names, don’t get smart with me Ralph!”

And the four of them laughed as the train began to roll back towards Hogwarts.

***

_Hogwarts, February 8 th 1972_

Remus hadn’t been in class for two days. And so, the pattern was officially broken, to an increase of absences. Sirius frowned and fiddled with his feather quill until it was waving back and forth so fast that James kicked his shin. He hissed and stuck his tongue out at James. And if it weren’t for the sudden explosion in Snivellus’s cauldron, causing immense smell of urine and the color lime green to explode all over the potions class room, Sirius would have been focusing entirely too much on why the change of pattern had accrued. But as it be, Sirius was an eleven year old boy, with a best friend that had a knack for pranks. So Patterns would have to wait.

And In the hospital wing, unknown to the three marauders, Remus lay quietly, suffering through the familiar pain and wishing desperately that his friends knew, but was yet too scared to let them know.

***

_Hogwarts, March 20 th 1972_

Today was the day that James Potter and Sirius Black became infamous in their pranking. The school had been wracked with their jokes and pranks all year and now that the school year was dwindling down to a few months left, James and Sirius suddenly had prank fever. Today, just happen to be the day that they were caught, in front of nearly the entire school.

It had started out alright, at least that was the assumption. But it ended with the great hall covered in smoke bombs, daisies, and of all things, millions and millions of lady bugs. The teachers weren’t sure who had started it, seeing as Black and Potter weren’t giving each other up, but their smug grins and body racked giggles pointed the blame in their direction anyway.  What was probably the most surprising was that Lupin admitted to the prank as well, though he looked far less guilty. Though McGonagall thought that was perhaps only because the teachers felt sorry for his condition and had a biased opinion of the boy. In the end though, Dumbledore had cheerfully whisked away thirty points from Gryffindor (though he added twenty for splendid charm and spell work that was at a much higher level than first years) without giving the boys a detention, even if McGonagall had objected.

In the case of Potter and Black, even detentions didn’t threaten them enough to stop. Such was the fate that all the teachers recognized, but there wasn’t else much to do. And so, it became widely known that Potter and Black were the pranking duo and were very dangerous together. The problem was that teachers had yet to figure that out in the class room. Most expected them to just behave because they were learning, but McGonagall knew otherwise.

But then, one day in late March, she had separated them, tired of their shenanigans, only to learn that separation was perhaps the _worst_ idea in all history of ideas.

It had been a rather warm day for March and the students were not happy nor where they paying close attention. And McGonagall had just enough of Black and Potter whispering loudly and giggling away in the back, so she separated them, Black in the far front corner and Potter in far back. She had been very satisfied that she was now in the safe zone. Unfortunately, she had underestimated her two brightest, yet most annoying students. She had only turned her back for a moment, when shrieks let out from many of the girls.

At least twenty large spiders were skidding across the floor, and of all things, they were…well, they were singing, in high pitched voices that had a few in giggles. And then the spiders proceed to crawl up the desks and Merlin’s beard, _actual students_ , to cuddle up to their cheeks and sing some happy muggle tune, loudly and very off key. She was pretty sure that the spiders had been transfigured from coins that had been placed on all the students’ desks for the end of the class activity. The spiders looked suspiciously the same color of the coins. McGonagall didn’t know if she out to be impressed at the level of transfiguration that they had not even begun, or irritated that Black and Potter never sought to use their magic for means of education.

On the plus side of Black and Potter that McGonagall had noticed, was that they made Lupin laugh.

And Merlin knows that poor boy needed happiness in his life. And that was perhaps  
(and the skill level of magic) the only reason that McGonagall wasn’t as harsh as she could be on Black and Potter. Because they showed kindness and great friendship right away, and truth be told, they both (though it was a bit surprising to see Black this way) had great courage and Gryffindor pride. And McGonagall was always a softy for her own Gryffindors.

And that was also what Dumbledore saw as well. And while she disagreed with Dumbledore’s lack of discipline and encouragement of such behavior, she was glad that she was not the only one that saw the good that Black and Potter were for Lupin. And for the Pettigrew boy as well.

Of course, she constantly had to remind herself of that, especially as a particularly large spider crawled its way up and started to serenade her.

***

_Hogwarts, April 13 th 1972_

It was hot and yet the four boys refused to leave their dormitory. One, it would be much hotter in the blazing sun and two they were having entirely too much fun indoors. They had decided to try and get everyone to switch noses for a day as their last large prank on the school. So far, they had managed to get Peter to grow multiple warts.

“Ugh, this is not turning out how I thought.” Sirius pouted as Peter’s hair suddenly shook and grew twice as long. “Everything but his nose is changing!”

James swung his wand about to fix Peter’s hair, a focused pout on his thin lips. Remus, who had been engrossed in catching up with his potions homework finally looked up and smirked. The two first year geniuses had yet to even change Peter’s nose. He blamed it on the heat.

James muttered something and sent another spark at Peter, who’s lips this time burst wider and fuller, making him look like a fish. Sirius snorted and James fell off his bed, laughing, too large glasses falling off his face.

“Remmy?” Sirius asked, suddenly a lot closer than Remus remembered him being, “how’s your mum doing?”

Remus froze. All year Sirius had been good enough not to mention his monthly disappearances.  He feared the attention of all three boys would now turn to him. But when he looked up, it was only Sirius looking at him. James and Peter were now wrestling about.

“S-she’s fine.”

Sirius smiled gently at him, “well, that’s good. She must have been real sick. Is she always like this?”

Remus started to sweat a bit more. He wasn’t sure how to answer that. Sooner or later, if his mum got any sicker, they would wonder why she wasn’t dead.

“O-only recently.” He stuttered. He knew his voice was giving away his lie. It was just hard to hide the truth, especially with Sirius looking at him so closely.

Sirius looked at him for a long moment and then hummed before turning his attention to James and Peter.

Remus lay in fear. That was it, that was the moment that Sirius knew he was lieing. There was no question about it. Sirius Black was aware that Remus was lieing about his mother and Remus had no idea what to do about it.

He kept quite the rest of the morning, until James shouted that he gave up on the spell and demanded that Remus show them the correct way to switch everyone’s noses. Which Remus did in less than a second and Sirius and James bowed down in his greatness, a little too mocking. Still, amusing all the same though.

A few days later, the entire school suddenly looked slightly different. Girls complained about their noses being so different and boys glared at their faces in the mirror. Everyone had someone else’s nose for a whole week, and while Sirius had gotten stuck with Snape’s ugly pecker, he was still grinning away. Smug that their greatest prank had been pulled for the year and it was all thanks to Remus.

And Remus assumed that was why Sirius didn’t bring up his secret again.

***

_Hogwarts, May 9 th 1972_

Exams hadn’t been that much of a problem for the four of them, even for Peter, who had been dreading them. But that was because first year exams were nothing, they were just as easy as homework and James was sure that the teachers made first years take exams so that the older students didn’t have resentment. The problem was, first year exams were a month earlier than the others. Probably because the teachers solely focused on higher exams during the last month of school.

And yet, despite their exams done and out of the way, they still got homework, which Peter complained to be a bunch of bull. Sirius and James agreed with him. Remus though, was just glad that there was something to keep his three friends busy. Seeing as Sirius hadn’t brought up Remus’s monthly lies, but instead, he kept looking at Remus, like he would burst in a fit of tears for lying to them. It made Remus jumpy and nervous, so he was very glad that Sirius had homework to do.

He felt a bit guilty though. He knew Sirius was just trying to help him; they were friends, that’s what friends do. But if Sirius found out, then Remus was sure they wouldn’t be friends. Werewolves had been brought up more than once in their little group and Peter had by far the worst reaction. His had been one of fear though, not hate or anger. James had been a bit bitter, and Sirius had been so nonchalant about the subject that Remus had no idea what his real opinion about werewolves was. That was what was most frightening. Not being able to judge whether one of his best friends wouldn’t care or would end up hating him. And Remus hated himself for thinking this, but he couldn’t help himself. Out of the three of them, Sirius would probably be the one to hate werewolves the most. Based on his family’s views and the environment he grew up.

Remus knew it wasn’t fair for him to think that, seeing as Sirius was nothing like his family, being placed in Gryffindor was a testament to that. But still, something nagged Remus in the back of his mind that Sirius would be the one that he could lose as a friend if they ever found out.

And Remus hated that the most. Because as much as he enjoyed hanging out with James and Peter, there was something about Sirius, a connection that was stronger. In ways, Remus and Sirius were very similar and that was probably what worried Remus the most. He didn’t want to lose the person that he could relate to the most. Because he and Sirius had the same odd sense of humor. They had the same likes and dislikes, in mostly everything, food, music, clothes, even ideas. Where James was Sirius’s best friend, Sirius was his. And he wished it to stay that way.

So he was glad that the teachers gave them homework still.

***

_Hogwarts, June 10 th 1972_

“Merlin! It is so hot out.”

“Yes Sirius, we know.”

“No, no, it’s _hot_.”

Remus chuckled, “oh, I suppose so. Thank you for informing me, I thought there was a blizzard about.”

“I can certainly see why Remmy,” Sirius draped an arm across Remus’s shoulders, “they do like to hang about. You know, _chill_ out.”

And they collapsed into giggles. James grunted and threw a bag of chocolate at them, “Oi, stop being weird.”

“I’ll have you know Potter, that this is not weird.”

“’tis true,” Sirius agreed, “Remember last week, with the socks and bras?”

Peter blushed, and buried his nose in the Quidditch magazine he was holding.

They were sitting on the train in the farthest compartment possible, all scrunched close together and talking very, very loudly. It was their last day together before the summer holidays started and it was almost to an end. Out of the four of them Sirius seemed to be the only one that was truly disappointed in the notion that going home wasn’t an option. Remus on the other hand was happy to have a break from school work. Despite James and Sirius disagreeing, Remus had to work extra hard to keep up with them. James on the other hand was an only child and he always loved attention, which he would get plenty of when he went home. Out of the four of them, he and Peter were the only ones that talked about their family in detail. Because both of them had loving parents that spoiled or fussed entirely too much over them. Of course, that was how Remus’s parents were as well, but they took Remus’s secrecy of his family in stride. Sirius seemed to be the only one that didn’t get along with his parents and James had already mentioned something about bruises on Sirius to Remus.

Of course, by the time Remus or James had the time or courage to bring it up with Sirius, the bruises had faded. And after a one nasty moment when Remus had asked, Sirius had gotten snippy and started prying in Remus’s own secrets that he was so paranoid about letting them know. After that Remus dropped it, even when the summer holiday got near and Sirius got more depressed about going home.

“So, before the train reaches the station and we’re all torn apart by our parents,” James said, scouting to the edge of his seat, “I have the most brilliant proposition for you lads.”

“Alright, let’s hear it Jimmy-boy.”

James gracefully ignored the nick-name, but that might be because his own parents called him that on regular bases.

“Ok, two words; sleep over.”

Sirius’s eyes light up so much that Remus was surprised and a little shocked at how much he had gotten used to Sirius moping. “James! You great git! That is the best idea you’ve had all year.”

James pouted, “hey now, I thought the thing with beetles and hairspray was pretty clever.”

“Oi, I suppose you are right, but this! James, this is what true geniuses think of.”

Peter frowned in confusion, “so, does that mean everyone is a genius?”

“Hush! Do not destroy James’s self esteem Pete-y.”

Remus chuckled and ducked when James threw yet another bag of chocolate at him, “where are you getting all this chocolate?”

“So I was thinking sometime in July?” James ignored Remus’s smirk, “for a week or two? I get dead bored being an only child.”

“Me too, and Mum will just want to smother me with nagging, so a nice long break in between would be brilliant.” Peter smiled.

Remus kept his worried brow lines to a minimum as he thought of a quick way to lie about why he wouldn’t be able to go during certain dates, “well, alright, that does sound like fun. But I think my parents and I are going to France this holiday in July, so I’ll let you know when?”

James nodded, “whenever is good with me, mate. It’s not like I’m going anywhere.”

There was a moment of silence, which tended to happen a lot and then Sirius, of all things, squealed in delight and jumped in his seat, “yes! I cannot wait. This will be so bloody fun!”

“Geez Sirius,” Peter mumbled, looking a bit fearful, “needy much?”

“Oi!” and Sirius launched himself at Peter, laughing as he dragged the shorter boy into a head lock.

Remus laughed along with them, forgetting for a while that the full moon was a week away and that the summer would be lonely without his new found friends.

***

_Grodic Hollow, July 2 nd, 1972_

Remus was nervous; he had never been to someone else’s house before. James’s house was much bigger than his own. He shifted and looked back at his parents, who had taken it upon themselves to apparate him and meet James’s parents. Remus ignored the slight embarrassment in his stomach; he didn’t want his parent’s over concern giving anything away and he was pretty sure it wouldn’t, as long as Sirius wasn’t here yet. He fiddled with his bag as his parents knocked politely.

As it were, Sirius had not yet arrived and Remus nearly fainted with relief. His parents were being a bit obvious. James though just waved them in and grabbed Remus’s wrist and dragged him away while the adults had some ‘serious time’.

“This is so brilliant, Remmy! I can’t wait to Sirius gets here,”

Remus smirked, “what? I’m not good enough for you?”

James yelped, “No! It’s just, well; he’ll be more excited about this,” and James threw open his room door.

Remus snorted a giggle, “your room?”

“No no,” James shut his door and went straight for his closet, digging around. After a long moment of grunting and murmuring he grabbed a long cloak and spun around, “ok, close your eyes.”

Remus did so, but his apprehension, “you better not be doing anything to me.”

James laughed, “I’m not, I swear.”

There was a slight whoosh of fabric and James’s giggles kept making Remus untrusting.

“Ok, you can look.”

Remus carefully peeked out from under his hands, just in case James had been lying to him. What he did see was completely unexpected. James had gone, he left the room. Remus frowned; he hadn’t heard the door open or close. But no one was in the room with him.

“Uh…” Remus mused out loud, glancing around him.

“Isn’t it brilliant!” James shouted, his head appearing out of thin air.

Remus let out a shout and fell back against the wall. “James!”

James took the rest of the cloak off, “my parents gave it to me the weekend we got back. It’s a real invisibility cloak!”

“Yes, I can see that.”

“I can’t wait to take it to school. We’ll have loads more fun doing pranks now.”

Remus looked at him a bit skeptically.

“Oh, come off it. You know you want too.”

“I dunno, James.”

“Come on, you can try it out.” James shook the cloak at Remus, “Sirius will be here any moment. We can have a little fun.”

Something about tormenting Sirius always persuaded Remus without fail. He didn’t know what it was, but it was simply satisfying to catch the handsome young boy off guard. James waved the cloak in his face again, tempting him.

“Oh, alright,” Remus said and snatched the cloak from James. He threw it over himself. It was so large that it dragged on the ground a great amount and Remus felt as if he were under a blanket more than a cloak. The four of them would have no problem fitting underneath it.

“Right,” James said, “I think I hear him downstairs, let’s go.”

Remus rather doubted that Sirius had arrived yet, seeing as the Potter’s house hold was still as quiet as ever. But he followed James out into the hall fearlessly. Attempting to prank Sirius Black was perhaps one of the most dangerous things known to wizarding kind. But James hadn’t led him astray all year long so Remus had no reason to believe he would start now. So he crept low and quite, ignoring the strain on his left leg from his transformation.

“Lead on, Potter.” He muttered as the door clicked shut.

After all, he hadn’t led him somewhere he couldn’t follow yet.

_In the clearing stands a boxer and a fighter by his trade_

_And he carries the reminders of every glove that laid him down_

_Or cut him till he cried out in his anger and his shame:_

_I am leaving, I am leaving_

_But the fighter still remain_

_-The Boxer, Simon  Garfunkel  
_


End file.
